


The New Normal

by warren_space



Series: New Terra-tory [2]
Category: The Expanse (TV), The Expanse Series - James S. A. Corey
Genre: Amos has feelings?, Book 4: Cibola Burn, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Exhibitionism, F/M, Foursome - F/M/M/M, Group Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Orgy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn Watching, Post-Season/Series 04, Threesome - F/M/M, Threesome - M/M/M, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:01:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24188566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warren_space/pseuds/warren_space
Summary: Amos and Holden had a lot of kinky sex on Ilus. Now everybody's got a year-and-a-half long trip back to Tycho to deal with what that means for them.Takes place after the events of Season 4 and book 4 of The Expanse. It will probably make more sense after reading Sleepless in New Terra, but it's mostly porn and feelings, so you probably don't need too much context. This was originally started as an epilogue, but it took on a life of its own.Second fic in the New Terra-tory series. Time-stamps to follow.
Relationships: Amos Burton/Alex Kamal, Amos Burton/Alex Kamal/Jim Holden, Amos Burton/Jim Holden, Amos Burton/Jim Holden/Alex Kamal/Naomi Nagata, Amos Burton/Jim Holden/Naomi Nagata, Amos Burton/Naomi Nagata, And They Were CREWMATES, Jim Holden/Naomi Nagata
Series: New Terra-tory [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745149
Comments: 64
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter 1

###  **Alex**

It had been a couple of days since Amos and Holden returned to the Rocinante, Amos towing Murtry behind him, smiling victoriously before throwing him into their makeshift brig to answer for his crimes in a year and a half when they returned to civilization. 

A year and a half to Tycho. A year and a half on a spaceship with Alex’s three crewmates– fuck it, his three best friends– who were fucking each other. His beloved Roci had never felt so small. 

Holden had asked him if he was okay a total of six times, so Alex figured he didn’t appear to be processing the whole Everyone-You-Love-Is-Fucking-Each-Other thing very well. It was a hard thing to process. He didn’t know the specifics of it, but Holden and Naomi were together as strong as ever, and Amos was the same contented, violent, crass bastard he’d come to love. Everyone else apparently felt no awkwardness about it.

Alex didn’t know how that was possible, but he was grateful for it. He didn’t think he could handle a big explosive breakup on top of everything else, though he worried that one had to be bubbling under the surface. He’d never had a relationship nearly as functional as Holden’s was with Naomi. He didn’t understand complicating things. 

He knew it was none of his business, and was thankful that they kept whatever happened behind closed doors, but he couldn’t help but feel entitled to a little bit of information. He didn’t like when everyone was in the loop but him, even if it was something that he had no reason to be in the loop about. He had a lot of questions that he needed answers to. Was it a just-on-Ilus thing, or were Holden and Amos still hooking up? Were they all three together, or was it just Naomi and Holden and Holden and Amos, separately? Was he allowed to ask?

Could Naomi really be happy with the arrangement, or was she just letting Holden have what he wanted? She didn’t seem like the kind of person who would shrink herself to make her man happy. She wasn’t. She had to be empowered in this. None of it made sense.

He also had a lot of questions he definitely didn’t need answers to, but kind of wanted them anyway. Holden and Amos were very different, and they butted heads a lot. He couldn’t imagine them getting along alone on Ilus, let alone sleeping in the same bed together, let alone having sex. He considered them both to be masculine, powerful men. He couldn’t help but wonder who was on top. On first thought, it should be Amos. He was bigger, stronger, and less emotionally available. Did taking it in the ass require emotional availability? Alex didn’t really know how any of it worked. He imagined it probably did. Holden was softer, and as he understood it, that should mean he gets fucked. It was probably closed-minded to think that way, but it’s what he had context for. All that considered, Holden was more stubborn, and Amos was more of a follower than a leader. Maybe Holden was in charge like always. There was no way he’d ever be allowed to find out, but Amos taking a pounding was an anomaly to Alex, so he decided the big guy was on top. It didn’t matter, anyway. It wasn’t like he fantasized about it. 

It was Sunday, which meant family dinner. He’d offered to cook. Baking his family’s famous lasagna took his mind off of Holden and Amos in all their compromising positions. That is, until Amos came into the galley to bother him. 

“Hey, brother,” Amos said jovially. 

“If you’re about to ask me if everything’s okay, I’m about to punch you in the nose.” Amos laughed at the empty threat. 

“Nah, Martian. If you got a problem, you can say something. You don’t say nothin’, I don’t have to give a shit.” 

“How… practical.” 

“Would you prefer we sit down and have a heart-to-heart about me fuckin’ Holden in the ass?” Alex mulled that over for a second, then made the mistake of saying, “so that answers that question.”

“Yeah? You been curious about it?”

“No. You wanna help? There’s veggies in the hydrator. Think you can manage chopping them for me?”

“Would rather give you a detailed description of what Holden looks like when he’s riding my–” 

“That’s enough, Amos,” Holden barked from behind them in the galley. Alex didn’t know when he got there, but it was the first time he’d been grateful to see him all week. Amos got to chopping the rehydrated mushrooms and peppers. “Sorry, Alex. I know this is weird.”

“It’s none of my business what goes inside you ‘cept lasagna.” That was a dumb thing to say, but Holden and Amos laughed. “Stop apologizing for it.” 

“You sure it’s–” Alex stopped stirring textured protein into sauce on the stove and turned to the captain. 

“Holden, the only thing I have a problem with is you treating me like I’m gonna up and throw a temper tantrum about it. I don’t understand what you three got goin’ on, but I don’t have to. As long as Amos keeps being a good mechanic, Naomi keeps being a good XO, and you keep bein’ eye candy or whatever the fuck you do,” he joked, and hoped it read like a joke, “I’m gonna keep being a good pilot.” Holden laughed and scrunched up his face in mock-offense. 

“Okay, asshole. But you gotta know you’re not just our pilot. You’re my friend.” 

“I appreciate that, Hoss. Though, seems like your variety of friendship involves a lot more body fluids than I’m comfortable with, so I might have to pass.” Amos barked out a surprised laugh. 

“You’re my brother, then.” 

“Brother works for me. ‘Long as brothers don’t kiss their boyfriends in front of each other.” 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Holden protested, while Amos was saying “no promises.” The look they shared was unreadable. Holden rolled his eyes like he’d lost whatever competition they were having in their heads. He poured the coffee he must’ve come into the galley for in the first place, and then made his exit. When he was gone, Alex felt more at ease. He and Amos cooked in comfortable silence for a while, and it felt like having his best friend back. He hadn’t realized he missed the guy so much. 

“You and Holden sleeping together is like a bull fucking a matador,” Alex said after a while. 

“Nah, he’s more like a… pageant dog.” Alex didn’t know what that meant. 

“What does that make you?”

“Still a bull.” Amos winked. 

“Ew.” Alex put the lasagna in the oven, and brought out a bottle of pretty decent Ganymede whiskey. He wanted to save it for their first family dinner back together, but he figured he needed a head start to get through being the world’s least useful fourth wheel. 

“Do you respect him less?” 

“Holden? Why would I? Just ‘cause he lets you fuck him?” Amos’s laugh, more of a breath than a laugh, was sarcastic. 

“Holden doesn’t  _ let  _ me do shit. He  _ begs  _ me to fuck him, and I give him what he wants if he behaves.” 

“That’s way more information that I asked for.” 

“But you were curious.” 

“Maybe a little,” he admitted, blushing. “No, I don’t respect him any less for being your weird sex slave.”

“Not a slave. More like a pet.” Alex downed his drink, a drink made to be savored, and poured another glass. Amos was a lot to handle under regular circumstances. Alex didn’t know if he would survive this version of him. But if he was being honest, which he’d never do out loud, it was interesting. Could even be hot. Maybe, if there was a woman involved. 

“Okay, Amos. I don’t respect Holden less for being your weird sex pet. I question his taste, and maybe his sanity a little, but I still respect the hell out of him.” 

“Good. He deserves that. We all got weird sex shit.” 

“Not me.” 

“No?” Alex shook his head. He’d always been a one lady kind of guy, and he didn’t need anything fancy. “Come on. You’ve never done anything kinky?” 

“Nope.” 

“Not even in the marines?”

“What do you think marines do?”

“I don’t know. Bunch of fit people in close quarters. Gotta be some weird sex shit happening there.” 

“You’re thinking of a sex cult.” 

“Maybe.” 

“I guess I’ve just never been with a girl who was into that shit. And I got no interest in being whipped or pissed on or whatever you get up to.”

“I’ve never  _ whipped _ him.” 

“But you’ve– okay. I think I would like this conversation to have been over an hour ago.” 

“Yeah, right,” Amos wasn’t convinced. Alex wasn’t, either. 

They drank in silence, waiting out the timer on the lasagna. 

When the food was ready, Amos went and got the rest of the crew, and Alex finished another drink, silently praying that the dinner conversation would not be about sex. Amos ruined it immediately, because of course he did. 

“Soup’s on,” Amos said, “unless Holden already ate.” Naomi flipped him off, laughing, and Holden wiped his mouth, presumably thinking Alex couldn’t see the gesture. He couldn’t tell if it was a joke. It didn’t seem like the kind of joke Holden would make, but lately he was coming to terms with the fact that there were sides of Holden he’d never seen before. Holden was a different person when Alex wasn’t looking. Or maybe he’d become a different person on Ilus with Amos. 

“How is this already half empty? We haven’t even sat down yet” Naomi asked, picking up the bottle of whiskey and pouring herself a glass.

“I prefer to look at it as half full,” Amos joked. Noami rolled her eyes. “Either way, it’s half in Alex.”

“You drank some,” Alex protested. Amos picked up his glass. It was mostly full, and it had been his first. “Fuck. Well, it’s been a weird week.” 

“Sorry.”

“Holden, I swear to God if you apologize to me one more time I will make you… die.” Oh. He was starting to feel the booze. 

“Sorry.” 

They ate in silence for a little while, which was weird, but preferable to talking about Amos and Holden having sex. Alex found that he didn’t mind hearing Amos telling him vulgar details about the dirty things the captain let him– sorry, begged him to– do to him, but he minded that he didn’t mind. He wasn’t attracted to Amos or Holden, but there was something about the way Amos talked that got under his skin. ‘Curiosity’ wasn’t the right word for it anymore. Curiosity was innocent. Harmless. ‘Temptation’ was more like it. And temptation was dangerous. Temptation, plus so much alcohol, plus a long, long time since Alex got laid, was lethal. 

“Can you pass me the whiskey, babe?” Holden asked, and both Naomi and Amos reached for it. Alex laughed harder than he should. “Amos, you cannot possibly have thought I was talking to you.”

“Why not, babe?” 

“For starters, the bottle is nowhere near you. Secondly, I don’t call you ‘babe.’” 

“You do when I’m–”

“Amos. Behave.” Naomi demanded, and Amos pulled back immediately. It was like she’d yanked on his leash. If he didn’t know Amos better, Alex might call it submission. There was an interesting chain of command starting to unravel in front of his eyes. Alex had never felt more like an outsider, but he didn’t mind watching. Maybe that was his weird sex thing. He took another drink.

“So are you all three fucking? Or do you like… share him?” his speech was slurred. He was far beyond knowing better than to ask a question like that. 

“Maybe you’ve had too much, Alex,” Holden said instead of saying ‘none of your business,’ and Alex swatted the air instead of saying ‘fuck off.’

“If you’re gonna be rubbing my face in it for the rest of my life, I should get to ask questions.” Amos and Naomi seemed to think that made sense. 

“We don’t share him, he’s not property,” Naomi reasoned.

“I beg to differ,” added Amos, and then mouthed ‘sorry.’ Naomi really had them both whipped.  _ That, _ Alex thought,  _ could be hot. _ He knew she was gorgeous, but Alex never thought about Naomi in a sexual way. It just seemed disrespectful most of the time. She was like his younger, smarter sister. But he was drunk off his ass, and suddenly surrounded by sex 24/7, so what went through his mind was a little more like _ tall sexy lady boss me around? sign me up! _

“We don’t mean to rub your face in it, Alex. It’s new. We’re figuring stuff out. Stuff like how to get Amos to shut his fucking mouth.”  _ Amos? Amos isn’t the problem.  _

“Amos is fine. He’s just doing what he always does. You’re the one being weird.” 

“I’m sorry.”  _ Again with the sorry. Stupid Holden.  _

“Don’t be so sorry all the time. I don’t know how to talk to you. It’s like you’re walking on eggshells whenever you’re around me, so I gotta walk on eggshells, too, and it’s stupid. ‘Cause we’re supposed to be friends. You’re the same guy, right? Or did Amos’s dick make you stupid?”

“You’re right. I’m s– I’ll do better.”

“Don’t need you to fuckin’ ‘do better.’ Just be a person.”

“Okay.”  _ I’m drunk.  _

“I’m drunk.” 

“I know.”

“Who let me get this drunk? Amos, why’d you let me get this drunk?”

“Thought it’d be fun,” Amos shrugged. 

“It’s not fun.” 

“I’m having a great time.” 

“I’m gonna go to bed. Nobody forget to feed Murtry.” 

“Wait, Alex, we should–” 

“We should nothing, Captain. We’re good.” 

He stumbled to his quarters, but didn’t want to sleep. Instead, he thought about Holden and Amos, and for a little while, stopped being in denial. 


	2. Chapter 2

###  **Amos**

“Since when can none of you hold your liquor? Bunch of pussies,” Amos tried to break the tension after Alex left. Holden’s head was in his hands. 

“Maybe this is a mistake. We should’ve left whatever happened between you and me on Ilus,” Holden said, and then looked to Naomi for guidance like he always did. 

“I don’t think that would’ve made anything less awkward, Jim.” 

“Besides, you just gonna forget what my asshole tastes like?” Holden made a noise and Amos couldn’t tell if it was a moan or a groan. 

“You…” Naomi started, and then gave up. “I’m gonna need a whole lot of details.” 

“We had very, very weird sex for months. I don’t know that you want all of the details.” Amos would be more than happy to share them. 

“We’ll see,” she smirked, then got serious again, “but anyway, it’s not like any of that’s reversible. Just because everything can’t go perfectly back to normal like it didn’t happen, doesn’t mean it was a mistake,” said Naomi.

“If the four of us can’t be a family again? That’s a mistake to me,” Holden declared solemnly. So that was that. The proclamation he’d expected the morning after their night alone in the desert came months too late, when they’d gone way too far to take it back.  _ At least, _ Amos thought,  _ Holden doesn’t have to worry about falling in love with me.  _ If Amos had a heart, he figured it would be broken. 

“God, Holden, again with the fucking regrets. It’s so exhausting.”

“Amos–” 

“No. You always talk. Let me talk. Why are you so ashamed of getting what you want? That’s your problem. Not Alex, not me. You liked what we did, what we’re doing, and you think that’s something to be ashamed of. So you’re going to make yourself miserable for not being miserable? If this was a mistake, then fine. It can be over. You two have fun. I don’t want to play this stupid game anymore.” 

“Amos–” 

“I’m gonna go make sure Alex isn’t passed out in his own vomit.” 

###  **Holden**

Naomi waited patiently, sipping from her third glass of whiskey, for Holden to say something. When he didn’t, she did. 

“So when did you two fall in love?” Naomi asked, like it wasn’t the accusation it clearly was. 

“We didn’t. He’s not–.”

“But you are?” Holden thought about it. He and Amos had gotten really close on Ilus. They were intimate beyond what Naomi had agreed to. Holden had feelings that were much bigger than lust, but he didn’t think that love is the word he would use. He didn’t think there existed a word that applied. 

“No. I don’t think so. There were a couple times I thought I might be, but I don’t think that’s what it is. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, be honest.” 

“I told him I loved him once.” 

“Really? What did he say?” 

“He skull-fucked me until I cried, told me I looked pretty crying on his cock, made fun of me for being hard and then left me alone. Said if I wanted to come I could do it while Miller watched.” Naomi raised her eyebrows and appeared to be processing that. 

“All this because you told him you loved him?” 

“He said I needed a reminder that he’s, quote, ‘not the kind of guy you love.’”

“Did that stop you?”

“From telling him I love him? Yes.” That wasn’t entirely the truth. Holden didn’t tell Amos he loved him again, but it wasn’t because of the rough treatment. He liked the rough treatment, and every once in a while he’d get a little sappy in bed with Amos because he knew he’d be punished brutally for it. He didn’t tell Amos he loved him again because it hurt that he didn’t say it back. He hadn’t expected Amos to say it back, but it hurt anyway. 

“Did it stop you from loving him?” 

“Couldn’t tell you. Don’t know.” Naomi let a big breath out. “I’m sorry.” 

“Alex was right, you’ve gotta stop apologizing.”

“I’ve got a lot to apologize for. I fucked a lot of good stuff up because I was thinking with my dick and not my head.”

“I don’t know if that’s true. I mean, you’re definitely not thinking with your head, but I think if you were thinking with your dick it’d have been over when you got laid. You’re thinking with your heart.” That was worse. 

“Yeah, well my heart’s a dumbass.”

“It always has been. I still wouldn’t have you any other way.” Holden gave a small smile. It felt good to be reminded that she loved him. She was the best person he’d ever met, and she loved him. That was a comfort even in the darkest times. The comfort quickly dissipated as he remembered that he betrayed this perfect woman. 

“I cheated on you. What I did with Amos, that was cheating on you.”

“I gave you permission.”

“You gave me permission to have sex with him. You explicitly told me that it could just be sex and not love.”

“I believe I said that was for your own sake. Because I know you, and I knew you’d be torn up about it if you did. Which I was right about.”

“I didn’t tell you. I caught feelings and didn’t tell you about it.”

“When were you supposed to tell me about it? When I was in jail on the Edward Israel or when all of our lives were in immediate danger?” 

“Why do you not hate me?”

“You hate yourself enough for both of us. What would be the point?” 

“You have every right to hate me, too.” 

“And you have no right to tell me how to feel.” He sat with that. She was right. She was always right. He didn’t get to punish her for not feeling the way he would feel if she’d done the same, but he couldn’t help but feel like a hypocrite for it. If she’d made the choices that he did, he’d be devastated. 

“You’re right. So what now?”

“You’re going to have to make things right with Amos and Alex.”

“I know.”

“But first you’re gonna have to make things right with yourself.”

“What does that mean?” 

“You are beating yourself up about having feelings for Amos. It’s stupid.”

“Why are you okay with me having feelings for Amos?”

“I told you it doesn’t bother me.”

“I just don’t know how you can be okay with me having feelings for someone else.” 

“You have eight parents, and you don’t understand polyamory?” 

“My eight parents aren’t all fucking each other. Polygamy’s different. It’s political.” 

“But three of them are together, right?” 

“Yeah, but they all three love each other. It’s not one of them who’s in love with the other two, and the other two just settle for it because they care about him.” 

“That’s what you think this is? Me, settling because I love you? Taking Amos’s sloppy seconds because it’s the best I can do?” 

“I would say Amos is taking your sloppy seconds, if anything,” he joked to break the tension. It didn’t work. He should’ve said ‘no.’ 

“Jim, it bums me the hell out that you’ve never considered that this arrangement is good for me. That, instead, you apparently thought I was so fucking desperate that I’ll settle for an arrangement I hate just to please my man. I’m out of your league, by the way.” 

“I know. I’m grateful every day you’ve settled for me.”

“I haven’t. You deserve my love.”

“But I–” she shushed him gently. 

“Look, Jim, I’m a big girl. I won’t be mistreated.”

“I never meant to mistreat–”

“You haven’t. That’s what I’m saying. I’d dump your ass in a heartbeat if you were. I am in love with you, and I have impeccable taste. You need to wrap your head around the fact that I like this arrangement, and stop punishing yourself for liking it too.” 

“I guess I just don’t get what you’re getting out of it. Besides sex with Camina Drummer.” 

“You underestimate how hot that’s gonna be,” she teased.

“No, I really, really don’t.” It was his favorite fantasy, the only one he never shared with Amos. It belonged to him and Naomi. 

“It’s not just that. You and Amos having sex turns me on like crazy. Plus, he can give you all the kinky shit I don’t want to do, and then you can tell me about it. Also, if you’re down, I haven’t ruled out a threeway.” 

“Wait, really?” Holden perked up like a puppy promised treats. 

“If you’re good.” 

“I’ll be so good.” 

“I know you will.” 

Holden had to physically shake his own head to snap out of the fantasy. He pocketed it for later. 

“So it’s just about sex?” Holden asked. 

“It was when it started. I said it was okay because it was hot. But I’ve seen you with him this week, and I like who he’s turned you into. You’re happy. He balances you out.” 

“I don’t feel balanced.” 

“Yeah, well you might, if you forgave yourself a little bit.” 

“Maybe.” Naomi kissed him on the forehead. That was something only she ever did, and it grounded him like nothing else. It made him feel safe. 

“I love you more than anything in the world.”

“I know, Jim.”

“If you said it had to stop with Amos, it would stop.” 

“I know, Jim.” 

“I wouldn’t be disappointed.”

“Yes you would, and that would be okay.” 

“No. You’re enough. You’re more than enough. You’re everything. I need you to always know that, or it won’t work. I can’t be with Amos if you don’t know that.”

“I do know that. I can be enough for you, and you can also want something else. Both can be true.”

“Okay. Okay.” 

“You need to be less in your head.” 

“How?” Naomi appeared to be mulling it over. 

“Well. Alex has gotta be out like a light. Which means, if you ate me out right here on the galley table, the only person who could walk in on us is Amos.” 

“And if Amos walked in on us…”

“Could be fun.” 

Holden hastily cleared space on the table while Naomi undressed from the waist down. 

“Fuck, I missed this pretty pussy,” Holden said when her legs were spread for him. 

“You ate me out like three hours ago, my love.” 

“Too long ago. Miss it every second I’m not tasting you.” 

“Amos train you to talk dirty?” 

“You don’t like it?” 

“Oh, I love it.” She moaned when he sucked on her clit. “He teach you how to eat pussy, too?” 

“No. That’s all me.” 

“I don’t know. Think you got better since Ilus.”

“I was bad before?”

“No, but fuck.” He slipped a finger inside her. “Guess I just missed you.” 

“Missed you, too,” he said, but it was muffled. She laughed. He loved her laugh. 

###  **Meanwhile, Amos**

“I’m gonna go make sure Alex isn’t passed out in his own vomit.” 

He’d never snapped like that. Holden was the kind of guy who gave the big speeches, he preferred to keep his shit to himself. But Ilus had changed both of them. They had changed each other. If Holden wanted to pretend it didn’t mean anything, then it didn’t have to mean anything. It wasn’t like Amos had feelings anyway. 

He knocked on the door to Alex’s quarters, then barged in anyway when he didn’t answer. 

“You alive in here, brother?” Alex looked up at him like a deer in headlights who had been caught masturbating. 

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” Amos said, but didn’t leave or even look away. “Fuck, you need a hand?”

“Jerking off? No, thanks. Been practicing since before you were born, partner,” he slurred. Amos laughed. Alex looked stressed. It wasn’t the way you were supposed to look when you’re jerking off drunk. He should be blissed out, on top of the fucking universe. Amos wanted to give him that. 

“Fair enough. You want my mouth? Can’t do that yourself.” It was probably a bad idea to proposition him drunk, but Amos didn’t even consider it. He never had sex with people who couldn’t consent. This wasn’t a sex thing. It was a favor to comfort his friend. It didn’t register as taking advantage in Amos’s twisted brain. 

“Don’t need your pity blow job, Amos. You don’t have to protect me.” 

“Oh, that shit again? Come on.” Alex’s futile grasps at masculinity were exhausting. There’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable. Amos was never vulnerable to anyone; he’d gone so long protecting himself from the world that he was sure he lost the capacity for vulnerability. That was not a strength. The more time he spent with his found family, the more he wished he could feel as deeply and complexly as they could. It offended him that Holden and Alex would wish that talent away. They didn’t know how privileged they were. 

Amos wondered if he and Alex would’ve hooked up a long time ago if Alex wasn’t so afraid of being close to another man. They enjoyed each other’s company, and were both horny as hell, even if Alex wouldn’t admit to it, and that was really all Amos needed for a good time. Alex would never bottom for him, but Amos didn’t need that. Maybe he’d let the Martian throw him around a little, fuck him rough so he could feel like a man. It was counter-intuitive, for sure, but it could be fun. 

“Go away.” 

“Never met a man whose masculinity was too fragile for a blow job, fuck.”

“My fragilinity isn’t– fucking shit. Fuck.” Amos didn’t think he’d ever heard Alex swear as much as he did that night. He was really going through it. Amos wished he could know what exactly ‘it’ was. Amos sat down in Alex’s bed next to him.

“You’re really not gonna leave?” 

“Worried about you.” He hoped this whole ‘worry’ thing wasn’t a permanent fixture. He worried it was. Fuck. 

“Since when do you worry about me? Since when do you worry about anything?” 

“I don’t know. I’m turning into Holden.” 

“Please don’t.” Alex pressed his face into his pillow, apparently giving up on making himself come, which Amos didn’t understand. Alex was rock hard. Why quit while you’re ahead? 

“You wanna talk about whatever that little episode was? I can’t figure out what you’re so mad about.”

“M’not mad.” 

“Then what’s your deal? I’d expect this kind of shit from Holden. You’re normally the cool one. Cooler than Holden, anyway. I want my friend back.” Alex turned, and gave him a face he couldn’t interpret. Maybe confused. Maybe offended. 

“I don’t know, Amos. Sometimes people have feelings and they don’t all have explanations.”

“I’ve noticed. It sucks.”

“Yeah.” 

“You know what I think?”

“What?” 

“I think you need to get laid.” 

“I coulda told you that, brother.” Alex put his face back in his pillow. Amos laid a hand on his back, but pulled it back when he tensed up under the touch. Holden would probably keep pressing the issue, not leaving it alone until it was fixed, and creating even more problems along the way. Amos wasn’t Holden. 

“Well, if you ever want my hand or my mouth or my ass or whatever, let me know. You know I’m always happy to help.”

“How generous of you,” Alex deadpanned. 

“What can I say, I’m a problem solver. Get some sleep, brother. If you wanna talk in the morning, I’m around. I know I’m not much help, but I can listen, and only make fun of you a little.” 

Amos needed a drink. Figuring Naomi and Holden would have long since left the table, he went back for the whiskey. 

  
They weren’t gone.  _ Oh, this could be fun.  _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My fantasy threesome! ...of crewmen of a spaceship.

###  **Naomi**

“Shit, if I’d have known Naomi was on the menu, I wouldn’t have filled up on lasagna,” Amos jeered from the doorway. Holden pulled back, his lips glossy, and looked up at Naomi. 

“You want a taste, Amos?” Naomi offered. 

“Fuck, really?” 

“Why don’t you two kiss, and I’ll decide if I wanna let you eat me out?” Amos nodded, obedient and eager like a dog. She could get used to having these two sexy men completely at her beck and call. 

The kiss was fucking erotic. It was the only suitable word for it. She’d seen them kiss before, sweet and gentle when they thought no one was looking. It was endearing more than hot, and made her feel a comfortable warmth in her stomach. Love. The feeling in her stomach now, as they shared the taste of her between them, was a blazing inferno. Lust. 

“Fuck, yes. My good boys. Come here, Amos. Lemme see if you can eat pussy as well as Jim does.” 

“I’ll take that challenge,” Amos said, and did. 

“Uh, Amos,” Naomi chided, “my pussy’s up here.”

“She doesn’t even let me do  _ that,”  _ Holden said, turning white.

“You complaining?” she scolded, jokingly raising one eyebrow. 

“Never, baby,” he kissed her, and she savored the taste of those glossy lips. She moaned into Holden’s mouth as Amos licked her right where she wanted him to. 

“You dogs can lick each other’s assholes all you want, but leave me out of it.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” She couldn’t tell if Holden’s ‘ma’am’ was sarcastic, but she didn’t mind it. She liked the power it gave her. 

“Speaking of,” she paused to let out a breathy moan when Amos worked a finger inside her. He had thick fingers. Did it make her a shitty girlfriend that she wished Jim’s fingers were this thick? She figured the point was moot, Holden had probably thought the same thing at some point. “Holden, make that pretty mouth useful. I’ll bet Amos likes getting his pussy ate just as much as I do.”

“Fuck yeah,” Amos said, skillfully discarding his coveralls without disconnecting his lips from Naomi’s clit. Holden pulled Amos’s boxer shorts down over that gorgeous, round ass, and his face disappeared from Naomi’s view. If the way Amos paused in his ministrations to pant like an animal was any indication, Holden was just as good at eating ass as he was at eating pussy. She might have to let him try it out on her sometime. 

“Don’t stop,” Naomi demanded, “if you can’t handle a tongue in your ass while you eat me out I won’t give you the privilege.” Amos looked up at her like he didn’t understand the sentence. She clarified: “you’re not in charge anymore, big guy. Not with me. That alright with you?” His grin was feral. 

“You’re the boss.” He licked her, a hard press of the flat of his tongue, and she was ready to come for him. For both of them. As if he read her mind, he pushed two fingers inside her, fucking her on them while he sucked hard at her clit, and she came all over his hand. 

“C’mere, baby boy,” Amos said, and Holden hurried to stand. Amos held his hand out, and Holden lapped at it like he’d been trained to. He sucked those big fingers into his mouth, and moaned his gratitude. “Good boy.” 

“Amos really has you trained, huh?” Holden ducked his head and nodded bashfully. “Nothing to be ashamed of, Jim. You submit so good. Driving me crazy, puppy.” Holden’s smile was shy but the love in it was unmistakable. They both looked to her for direction. 

She wanted Amos inside of her. She’d thought about it a couple of times before, and got off on the idea, but ultimately decided it shouldn’t happen. But now, with two perfect men looking up at her for instructions, her pussy dripping with want, she couldn’t remember any of the reasons why she thought it was a bad idea. His cock stood long and hard at attention for her, and she needed it inside of her. She wondered what Holden would think of it. 

“Babe?” Holden met her eyes. “What do you think about letting Amos fuck me?” 

She could see the gears turning in his brain. Jealousy and need competed behind his furrowed brow. 

“I’m not in charge here. Your call.” Naomi laughed, and there was a wickedness in it that she didn’t know she was capable of. 

“I know, baby boy. I’m in charge, and I asked you a question. You gonna be good and answer me?” Amos chuckled at that. Holden’s mouth hung open, like he was dumbfounded. 

“I want you to. Want to see you take him.”

“How do you want me?” Amos said almost immediately. She contemplated that. 

“Sit,” she commanded, like a dog trainer. She pointed to the chair. “And strip the rest of the way. Both of you.” Amos took his under shirt off and Holden undressed completely. She unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. All three of them were completely naked. 

Amos sat as instructed, his big, hard cock commanding attention. 

“Get it nice and slick for me, Jim,” she said, and Holden didn’t need any further explanation to get on his knees and suck on it. He wet his mouth and hollowed his cheeks. Amos appeared to be holding back, and Naomi didn’t know if it was for her benefit or Holden’s. “You can fuck his face a little. Don’t be shy. We both know what our little slut craves.” Amos didn’t need to be told twice. 

Naomi didn’t like fucking Holden’s face. She gave it to him with her strap-on every once in a while, but it made her feel a little bit like a monster. Amos didn’t have the same reservations. The sound of Holden choking activated her fight or flight response. 

“That’s enough,” she ordered, and the wet noise of that big dick sliding out of Holden’s mouth as he obeyed made her desperate for something inside her. “Want that monster inside me.” She didn’t know if she was talking about Amos or Amos’s dick. 

She straddled him, sinking down slowly onto him. It was the biggest thing she’d ever taken by far. Amos was patient with her, letting her take her time adjusting to the incredible intrusion. She didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but it wasn’t patience. His hands came up to cup her breasts, and his worshipful gaze was impossible to meet. He looked at her with gratitude, like she’d given him something he’d always wanted and never thought he’d have. She supposed it was likely that she had.

“You never seen a pair of tits before?” she teased. He caressed them gently and lovingly, like beholding them was a privilege he was afraid of losing. 

“Been a while. Holden’s tits are pathetic.” Naomi laughed. “Besides, never thought I’d get to see yours. Fucking gorgeous.” She moved on him, slowly at first, and then faster. 

“Fuck me, Amos. I wanna be stretched on that big, fat cock.” It felt weird to say, like cliche porn dialogue and not real life. But it worked the way she planned, earning her a moan from both Jim and Amos. “You like what you see, Jim? Like that big dick slipping inside of me? Biggest I ever had.”

“Fuck, Naomi.” She couldn’t see him, but she could hear the sound of him jerking off. She considered scolding him for not getting permission, but she let him have it.

“I like fucking your boyfriend. Feels so good inside me.” Amos was fucking her in earnest now. 

“I’m not gonna last if you keep talkin’ like that, Boss.”

“Good, Amos. Don’t hold back.” It was so much, so fast, so good. “Come inside me. Want our boy to have your sloppy seconds.” That was enough to push him over the edge. She stayed there for a moment to catch her breath before pulling off of him, wet and dripping come. When she was confident she could balance, she sat on the edge of the table and spread her legs, exposing the gorgeous mess between them. 

“Come here, babe. Take what’s yours.” Holden was on her in an instant.

“Don’t know if you’re even gonna feel that little dick, Boss,” he teased, and Holden flipped him off. His pout was adorable. 

“I can be a good sport about it,” she played along, knowing Holden got off on humiliation more than anything else. He slipped inside her easily, fucking her hard and fast for a long longer than she expected him to last after being teased so relentlessly. She couldn’t tell if he was trying to prove his own prowess, or if he was just plain good, but it was the same to her. She tightened with arousal and he fucked her through his orgasm. 

Naomi had never felt so used and so loved at the same time.  _ I can get used to this, _ she thought for the billionth time. 

She was sensitive after being licked to two orgasms and stretched to her limit on two cocks, but she wasn’t done with the two of them just yet. 

“Jim, baby.” 

“Yes?” 

“Eat me out.” 

“Really? Fuck. Yes. Fucking  _ thank you.” _ It wasn’t the response she’d expected. She’d half-thought he’d have turned her down. In hindsight, of course Holden would jump at the chance to eat Amos’s come out of her. It was, after all, a combination of two of his favorite things. The grossest, filthiest, hottest best-of-both-worlds scenario Naomi could imagine. 

He licked and sucked and sipped and swallowed until she was spent and shaking from a third orgasm. 

“Fuck, fuck. Good boy, Jim. Can’t take anymore. You were so good.” 

Amos pulled Holden’s head back by his neck to steal the filthiest kiss Naomi had ever witnessed, come swapping between them until they’d swallowed it all. 

“Okay, boys. Time for bed. No one is kissing me until they brush their teeth.” 

###  **Holden**

It required some coercion, but Holden was able to get Amos to come cuddle for a little while. Holden and Naomi had remodeled their quarters to suit a larger bed years before, but there was still not enough room for three. That, of course, would not stop Holden from being held by Amos and Naomi at the same time. Holden held Naomi close while Amos’s big body spooned over both of them. Holden had never felt more at peace with the world. 

“Is Alex okay?” Naomi asked Amos, and everything that had happened came rushing back to ruin Holden’s buzz. He’d have to talk to Alex in the morning, though he knew Alex didn’t want to talk to him. He considered if that would stop him, and then resigned to the fact that it wouldn’t. He also needed to talk to Amos, let him know what they shared hadn’t been a mistake. Though, Amos seemed to have forgotten about it altogether. He supposed mind-blowing three-way sex could do that to a guy. 

“He will be. I think he’s jealous.” 

“Of… who, exactly?” Holden asked, baffled by that. “I mean, does he wanna… what does he want?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he knows. Everybody’s gettin’ some but him. I don’t know if it’s more than that.” 

“That’s… not a problem I can fix.” 

“It doesn’t have to be, Jim,” Naomi said. 

“I offered to suck him off. He didn’t take that well.” Naomi laughed at that. Holden did not. 

“Wait, you did?” Holden asked.

“Yeah. Seemed like he needed it.” 

“Would you, if he said yes?” He had no right to feel betrayed by that. He did anyway. 

“What am I gonna say, ‘nevermind?’” 

“That’s not a reason to suck somebody’s dick.” 

“He’s got a problem, I got a couple holes that can fix it.”

“A couple. Meaning you’d let him fuck your ass? You don’t even let me fuck your ass most of the time.”

“You’re jealous? You don’t get to be jealous. You’re not my boyfriend.” 

“But I’m someone to you, right? Or would you just put your dick in anything?” 

“Jim…” Naomi warned. 

“Can’t it be both?” 

“Shit, Amos.” Holden awkwardly got out from his spot between Amos and Naomi and stood. 

“I’m not going to be slut-shamed by a guy who eats my come out of his girlfriend’s cunt.” Amos stood to leave. “Let me know when you’re ready to stop being a prick.” He left, and Holden deflated. 

Naomi opened her mouth to say something, but he interrupted her.

“Please don’t. I know that was my fault.” He sat on the bed and she wrapped her arm around him.

“Would it really hurt your feelings that bad if he had sex with Alex?” 

“It would complicate things.”

“Things are already complicated. If anything, it might un-complicate some things.”

“How do you figure?”

“You’re having sex with me, he’s having sex with Alex. Makes you even.”

“I’m not just having sex with you. I’m in love with you. Madly.” 

“It would hurt less if he was in love with Alex?” 

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.” 

“Does it hurt that it’s someone who’s not you or does it hurt that it’s Alex?” 

“I don’t know. It hurts that he didn’t talk to me first. It hurts that sex is such a casual thing for him, that he could just suck Alex’s dick like it’s nothing. It hurts that it hurts when it shouldn’t hurt.” 

“Did you think that sex wasn’t a casual thing for Amos? I could’ve warned you it was. I think I did.” 

“You did. You said sex, for Amos, is like going to the casino.”

“It is. You mad he’s going to the casino with Alex and not you?” 

“I don’t know. I’m being a baby.” 

“You’re entitled to your feelings. Even if they’re stupid.” She kissed him, and he wondered how much longer she would put up with him. She deserved to be more than the person who patiently dealt with his existential crisis. But the only way out of it was through it, and he couldn’t get through it without her. He just hoped she’d forgive him for it when it was over. 

“I wish I could be casual like him.”

“If you could, you wouldn’t be you.” 

“Wouldn’t be so bad.” 

“Yes, it would,” she protested. “I like you.” 

“I love you,” he whispered. 

“Let me hold you.” They got back in bed with much more room this time around, and Naomi was the big spoon. 

“Thank you for tonight,” Holden said after a while. “It was incredible.” 

“Damn straight it was incredible. Do me a favor?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t fuck things up with Amos. I want to do that a million more times.” 

“I think Amos could hate my guts forever and he’d still share you with me if it means he gets to see your boobs again.” 

“What is it with him and my boobs? It was like they hung the fucking moon.” 

“They’re good boobs.” 

They talked for a long time before going to sleep. Naomi asked questions about what he did with Amos and he answered everything honestly. It felt nice to get it off his chest. She made what he had with Amos feel like something he did for her entertainment instead of against her wishes. He didn’t know if that was a purposeful courtesy to him, but he was grateful for the opportunity to remember it fondly instead of with regret. She always knew exactly what he needed. He resolved to be everything she needed for the rest of his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I know that "Shit, if I’d have known Naomi was on the menu, I wouldn’t have filled up on lasagna" is the least sexy thing anyone could possibly say. But let me have this one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short lil chapter

###  **Naomi**

Holden was already awake when she woke up, staring at the ceiling and presumably having a crisis. 

“Morning, sexy,” she said, snapping him out of it. His smile was small, more of an acknowledgement than an expression of happiness. 

“Good morning.” 

“What can I do to calm the storm happening in your head right now?” 

“I know what Amos would say to that.” 

“Wrong answer,” she said, and kissed him on the cheek. 

“I didn’t answer.”

“Yeah, apparently instead you decided to say the worst thing you could think of.” There was no bite to it. She was more amused than angry. 

“Sorry. He broke me a little bit.” 

“I don’t mind it. I like you horny all the time. For now. But you’ve got about eighteen months to learn how to be a person again, ‘cause I don’t think we can manage to get our jobs done with two Amoses and no Jim.” 

“Fair enough.”

They laid in pleasant silence for a while, until Holden broke it like he always did.

“Have you ever been in a polyamorous relationship?” 

“No. I’ve been in open relationships, but never, like, committed to more than one person at the same time. Have you?”

“No, but I know a lot about it. My parents were always very honest. Sometimes more honest than I would’ve liked them to be. I know how it all works.” 

“Is that what you want with Amos? Polyamory?” 

“No. Not classically, at least. It wouldn’t be possible even if I wanted it, but I don’t. I want to be yours first. Healthy polyamory doesn’t work like that.” 

“Forget what your parents taught you for a second. We can think about ‘healthy’ later. What’s the _ideal_ for you?” He contemplated that for a while. 

“We belong to each other before anything else. I have what I have with Amos, you have sex with whoever you want as long as I don’t have a good reason to object, but we’re together first and foremost. We report back to each other, and tell each other if it ever becomes even the slightest bit not good. If you can’t tell me when it’s not good, I’m gonna think it’s not good all of the time. No hiding. And I know I’m a total hypocrite for saying ‘no hiding’ when I hid having feelings for Amos, but I hope you can forgive me for it.” 

“There’s nothing to forgive. I was never upset in the first place. Stop beating yourself up for it.”

“I will try. Does that all sound good to you?”

“Yes. It sounds really good. We also get to have threesomes right?”

“Hell yeah.” 

“Then it sounds perfect.” 

“I am the luckiest man in the whole world.” 

“Yeah, you are. Do you have any other concerns that we can knock out of the way so we can go back to having hot, uncomplicated sex all the time?” 

“Not currently.”

“But you’ll let me know.” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, Go make breakfast. I want waffles. I’ll meet you in the galley.” 

✧✧✧

She took a shower, and thought about everything that was said. She felt very at peace about Jim and Amos. She was less worried about the connection the two men shared than she was that her boyfriend’s guilt about it would eat him alive. What she couldn’t say was that nothing he hid from her was nearly as bad as all the things from her past she was hiding from him. She didn’t think that would put him at ease even if she could.

She thought, not for the first time, that maybe she should be more upset than she was. Holden’s insecurities were getting in her head. But she couldn’t rationalize being upset about an arrangement that made both her and Holden so happy. Or, an arrangement that _would_ make Holden so happy, eventually, once he could convince himself that he deserved that happiness. 

She never, ever doubted that Jim loved her more than anything in the world. He had so much love to give. Loving Amos didn’t take away from loving her. She let herself be happy. 

###  **Holden**

Alex was making oatmeal when Holden walked into the galley. 

“How you feeling?” Holden asked, and Alex tensed up. 

“Like emotionally?”

“No, like you got shitfaced last night and I’m sure you have a wicked headache.” 

“I’m recovering. Drugs are a wonderful thing.”

“Okay, rock star. Don’t fill up on mushy instant oat goo, I’m making waffles.” 

“You know how to cook?”

“I think I can manage to follow the instructions on the package.” 

“I don’t know. Maybe I should stay and supervise.” 

“Happy to have you. Need coffee.”

“There’s some in the pot.” 

“You’re my favorite person in the whole world.” 

“Somehow I doubt that’s true.” 

“Okay, this box says I need milk and eggs. How do I make that happen on a spaceship?” 

“Fucking Earthers.” 

“Hey, don’t blame all of Earth for me, personally, being a dumbass.” 

“Everything besides the vanilla and oil is powdered. You have to hydrate it.”

“Right.”

“That means add water, sweetie.” 

“I know that much, asshole.” Alex laughed, and took out a bulk-sized package of some MCRN-branded powder product. 

“A quarter of an ounce of this whisked with equal parts water is an egg. You can use the coffee whitener as milk, but half that with water, too.”

“Got it.” 

“How have you managed this long without cooking on a spaceship? We let you off the hook ‘cause you’re pretty?”

“Brother, that’s the second time you’ve called me pretty in two days. We got something we need to talk about?” 

“Brother,” he parroted like a challenge, “I know it’s hard for you to wrap your head around, but not everybody in outer space is trying to get in your pants.” 

“Fair enough,” Holden backed down, filling a measuring utensil with water for the milk. There was no awkwardness between them for the first time in the days they’d been back. “I could cook on Earth, by the way. Never had to learn in space.” 

“So you know how to operate a whisk?” 

“Yes, sir,” Holden joked.

“I know way too much about your sexual preferences to find that funny.” Holden laughed and hoped he wasn’t blushing. 

“Hydrate the egg and the milk first, then you can follow the instructions like normal. The waffle iron is probably way back in the appliance cupboard.”

Alex ate his oatmeal while Holden worked, and it was pleasant. Holden worked hard not to point out that it was pleasant, because then it wouldn’t be pleasant anymore. Being casual is a lot harder when you’re hyper-focused on being casual. 

When the batter was made, Holden heated some textured protein sausage and put a second pot of coffee on. He even brewed tea, because this was for Naomi, so he could bite his tongue about how it was clearly the inferior hot beverage. 

He was setting the table when Amos came through the doorway. 

“Wow, Alex, you’re making waffles?” 

“It was all the captain.” 

“Holden knows how to cook?” 

“Hardly,” Holden admitted. “Alex was a lot of help.” 

“You two are friends now?” Amos asked, picking up a sausage link from the steaming plate at the center of the table and popping it in his mouth with his hands. 

“We’ve always been friends.” 

“Didn’t seem like friends last night,” said Amos with a full mouth. 

“Let’s not talk about last night ever. That okay with you, Holden?” 

“More than.” 

Naomi came down just in time for her waffle to still be hot off the press, and they sat together for a rare family breakfast. 

“Hello, all my handsome boys.” She kissed Holden and took her place at the table. 

Amos looked at her, and then at her boobs, and then at the table, and Holden could read his mind enough to know he was thinking about what they did the night before, but not enough to know what he thought of it. 

###  **Amos**

Amos was thinking about what they did the night before. He wanted to do it again, and again, and again. He wanted to be inside Holden while Holden was inside Naomi. He wanted to eat Naomi out while Holden fingered him. He wanted to fuck Holden’s mouth while Naomi fucked his ass with her strap-on, and vice-versa. He wanted to see if they could fit the strap-on _and_ his cock inside Holden at the same time. He knew that wouldn’t fit, and wanted to try anyway. He wanted to fuck Naomi’s ass while Holden fucked her cunt. That wasn’t ever going to happen, but as long as he didn’t tell anybody about the idea, he figured he could fantasize about it. 

He wanted to let Alex in on it, too. Naomi would probably be the one to stop that from happening. Holden wasn’t attracted to Alex, but Amos was pretty sure he’d let anyone in his ass if Amos ordered him to, and that was enough for Amos to consider him a yes. 

That being said, Holden might say no because he didn’t want to complicate things. Holden was always worried about complicating things, which pissed Amos off. Amos hated for things to be complicated more than anyone. Worrying about things being complicated only made them more complicated than they were. In Amos’s opinion, everyone on the Roci except for Alex having sex together was complicated. Everyone on the Roci _including_ Alex having sex together? That was simple. And really, really fucking hot. 

He took a bite out of a sausage while making direct eye-contact with Holden. He wasn’t even really pissed off anymore, just wanted to make him squirm. Amos could never hold a grudge at Holden for very long. He mostly just assumed Holden was in the right, and he just didn’t get why. It didn’t stop him from thinking it was ridiculous for Holden to have a problem with him fooling around with Alex. 

It was pointless to think about. Even if Alex wanted to fool around with him, he was so far in denial about it that it would never happen. That probably wouldn’t stop him from trying a couple more times, just for fun.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for voyeurism, exhibitionism, and kind of semi-public sex. Public isn't the word for it on a privately owned spaceship with only 4 people on it, but it's the same idea. Warning: the voyeurism in this chapter is non-consensual because "he would be fine with it if he knew" is not the same thing as consent. He does not know, so it's non-consensual, full stop. That being said, Holden's only issue with the semi-public sex it is that he thinks it would be disrespectful to Alex, and let's just say Alex doesn't have a problem with it.

###  **Amos**

Amos was pretending to do work, disassembling a tertiary support feature and reassembling it, when Holden came into the engineering room. 

“You doing something important?” he asked. 

“Critically,” Amos lied.

“Yeah? What’s that panel for?” Amos searched for a believable lie. He should’ve had one handy. Instead, he deflected the question. 

“Since when do you pay attention to the details of my job?”

“Since you’ve been avoiding me by fixing things that aren’t broken.”

“Well, it’s broken now, so I gotta fix it.”

“You broke something on my ship just to avoid me?” 

“About two million things need to go wrong first for the ship to rely on this fixture to sail, and I’d be way done fixing it by the time that could happen. I’m avoiding you, not trying to kill you.” 

“You could just sit in your quarters. The door locks.” 

“And let you bang on the door ‘til I opened it? No thanks. Besides, this is more fun.” 

“We should talk.”

“I know. That’s why I’m avoiding you.” 

“Do you want this to be over? It can be over. I don’t have any right to pressure you into having sex with me if you don’t want to.” 

“Don’t flatter yourself, Captain. You couldn’t if you tried.” 

“That’s fair. Look, I know you don’t like to talk about your feelings, but–”

“I don’t have feelings.” Holden rolled his eyes like he didn’t believe that. Amos didn’t know if he believed it anymore, either. 

“Fine. Then whatever the fuck it is that happens in your brain when you think about me. If anything, I guess,” he added, like it hurt. “I just need to know what you want, and then I can give it to you and we can stop talking about it forever. This can’t work if you can’t communicate with me.” 

_ This can’t work if you can’t communicate with me.  _ The words echoed in Amos’s head. That’s the kind of thing you say when you’re in a relationship with someone. Was he in a relationship with Holden that he didn’t know about? He supposed that a little communication might be good for them. 

“How about you suck my dick, and then we can talk about it?” 

“How about we talk about it, and then I can do a lot more than suck your dick?” 

“Fine. Talk,” he said, leaving the room and beckoning for Holden to follow him. He sat on the nearest crash couch and Holden sat next to him. It was rare that they were sitting alone and Holden wasn’t in Amos’s lap. 

“I wish you would’ve talked to me before you propositioned Alex.”

“It’s not like I planned it. Besides, I think he was too drunk to remember it. Not to mention you have no right to control whose cock I suck.” 

“I’m not trying to control you. You can fool around with whoever you want. I’d just like to be important enough to you that you might consider my feelings.” Amos cringed at the word ‘feelings.’ They weren’t supposed to have feelings for each other. Amos knew Holden did, and he was starting to suspect he might have some, too, but he was hoping that ignoring them might make them go away. 

“I didn’t know you had  _ feelings _ for me.” 

“Yes, you did.”

“I wish you’d stop.” 

“Me too.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask for your permission to suck Alex’s cock. Do I need permission to jerk off, too? What about on Tycho? I need your permission to pay for sex?” 

“You don’t think sleeping with Alex is at all different than sleeping with a stranger? That’s the same thing to you?” 

“Kind of. I mean, Alex would be cheaper.” Holden got real quiet for a while, and Amos didn’t exactly know why that was the wrong thing to say. Was he offended on Alex’s behalf? Or did he see some sort of implication that Amos didn’t? Amos never said anything that meant more than what he said. Holden still always seemed to hear something else. 

“Is sex with me any different for you?” Holden asked, his voice barely audible, like he didn’t want to ask but he had to know. 

“Different from a sex worker?”

“Yeah.” 

“Sure. I don’t have to treat you as nicely.” 

“Okay.” 

“I’m joking.” 

“It’s okay if you’re not. I’m not entitled to–”

“Shut up. Stop trying to do the moral thing for two fucking seconds. Be a hypocrite. Say what you fucking mean. If it’s shitty, I’ll punch you in the jaw for it, and if it’s not, you get laid. Gamble a little.” 

“What if I say what I want and it means you don’t want to be with me anymore?” 

“All the more reason to say it, so I’m not having sex with you thinkin’ it’s one thing when it’s something else.” 

“I want to mean something to you. It doesn’t have to be love, but it has to be more than you fucking me because you’re horny and I’m around and I let you do weird things to me and don’t charge you money for it.” 

“Yesterday you said it was all one big mistake, and now you want to mean something to me? What happens if today I decide it means something and then tomorrow you decide it’s over?”

“I won’t. I’m sorry I said it was a mistake. I freaked out. I was scared that I ruined my relationship with Naomi and my friendship with Alex over something that didn’t mean anything to you.”

“For fuck’s sake, Jim. You’re gonna make me say it?” Holden nodded apologetically. “It meant something to me. You have always meant something to me. I care about you more than I know how to care about somebody. You want more than that?” 

“No. That’s… that’s good. I didn’t know that.” 

“Then you haven’t been paying attention.” Holden smiled subtly, and rested his head on Amos’s shoulder. “Are you gonna freak out again?” 

“No. I don’t think so. Are you gonna fuck Alex?” 

“I don’t think he’s into it. Probably going to try though.” 

“Please don’t harass him.”

“You gonna call HR?” 

“I think maybe I am HR. I don’t know how to deal with a sexual harassment complaint against my…” he searched for the word, and then gave up. “You.” Amos was relieved. 

“I’m not gonna sexually harass Alex. But if we do hook up, that’s okay with you?” 

“Does it matter?”

“Nope. But I’d like to know.” 

“Yeah, it’s okay with me.”

“All this drama and it’s okay with you?”

“I just needed to know it didn’t mean that sex doesn’t mean anything to you.” 

“Sex doesn’t mean anything to me. That doesn’t mean you don’t mean anything to me.” 

“Okay. Okay. I guess that’s enough for me.” 

“So can we have some meaningless sex now?” 

“Yeah. Not here, but yeah.” 

“You’re not gonna let me fuck you where anyone could walk by?” 

“Alex and I just got on good terms again. He doesn’t need to see my gaping asshole.” The imagery went straight to Amos’s dick. 

“Suck me off right here. I’ll make your asshole gape in your bedroom.” 

“Amos…”

“You were a dick to me yesterday. Make it up to me.” 

“I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“Prove it,” Amos smirked, unzipping his coverall, pulling his arms out of the sleeves. and letting it fall around his waist. 

When it came to sex with Amos, ‘no’ was barely in Holden’s vocabulary. When he did say it, he usually meant ‘convince me.’ Amos had felt a little weird about not taking no for an answer at first. He beat the shit out of the kind of guys who didn’t take no for an answer. But Holden had made it abundantly clear over the course of the months they were together that he liked the feeling of completely losing control, to the point where he preferred to have almost no autonomy in bed. He had trained Amos to know when his ‘no’s were flexible and when they weren’t without needing a safeword. He made Holden give him one anyway, in case he ever misread something, but he never used it. He trusted Amos implicitly, which was new for Amos. He didn’t feel like the kind of guy you should trust like that. He worked really hard to be that kind of guy for Holden. 

Holden looked around, paranoid about being caught, and then sunk to his knees anyway. 

“Good boy,” Amos mused, then pulled himself out of his boxers without taking anything off. 

“Love your huge fucking cock.” Amos slapped him with it and Holden accepted it like a gift. He jerked the base and took the head into his mouth. He’d gotten a lot better at this since the first time. Amos let him suck on it, didn’t push it into the back of his throat. It was less of a courtesy and more of a tease. He knew Holden loved to be hurt on it.

When Alex walked by the door, did a double take, and made eye-contact with him, Amos didn’t stop. He laced his fingers into Holden’s hair and pulled him down until the tip of his cock pressed against the back of his throat, and didn’t let him up for air, all so he wouldn't see and make them stop. Maintaining eye contact with Alex, he bucked up into Holden’s mouth and reveled in the sound of him choking. 

“You like that?” Amos asked, and Holden pulled off only enough to nod as if Amos had been talking to him. Amos didn’t give him a reason to believe otherwise. Amos took his shirt off, and it wasn’t for Holden’s benefit. Alex didn’t leave, so Amos figured it worked. “Play with my hole while you suck me, baby,” he said, looking down at Holden, and then looked at Alex when he said “want you to fuck my ass.” He could see the erection growing in Alex’s uniform. He made a point to let his gaze travel from Alex’s crotch back to his wide eyes and smirk, as if to say ‘you can’t hide that from me.’ Alex left, presumably back to his quarters to jerk off. 

“You’re gonna let me fuck your ass?” Holden asked, oblivious and excited. 

“You wanna?” 

“Always, yeah.”

“Then be a good boy and use your tongue. Get me real sloppy, it’s been a while.” He took his uniform and boxers off the rest of the way. “You want me on my knees or my back?” Holden looked at him like it was a crazy question. 

“Whatever you want.” 

“I know, puppy. What I want is for you to answer the question I asked. Just because I give you a choice doesn’t mean you’re in control here. Forget that again, you’ll be walking out of here with a boner in your pants and a handprint on your face. That clear?” 

“Yes, sir. Want you on your back.” 

“That’s a good boy.” He spread his legs, and Holden jerked his cock while he licked his rim. 

“You have lube?” 

“Not on me this time. Get me wet enough to slip a finger inside and I’ll let you take me to my quarters.” 

“We should probably go now. Alex could walk in and–” Amos interrupted him by slapping him across the face, as promised. “You’re not in charge here, Captain. Do what you're told or get punished for it. I can promise Alex  _ will _ come running if he hears you scream in pain.” Holden nodded and spit on Amos’s still-tight hole. He rubbed at the wetness while he sucked the massive cock in front of him, switching back and forth between the two delicious tasks at hand. 

“Fuck,” Amos moaned at the press of Holden’s finger past his rim, and Holden smiled victoriously with his tongue between his teeth. “Atta boy, Jim. Almost there, make me come on your face.” 

“I’m not wearing your come on the walk back to your room, so don’t get your hopes up,” Holden said as he jerked Amos to completion.

“I wasn’t thinking about it, but now I am, and you totally are,” Amos answered before he finished all over Holden’s lips. “Don’t you dare clean that up. Want everyone to see you painted.” He didn’t actually expect Holden to let him do that, but he knew the idea of it would rile him up. 

“Fuck,” he said, like he was considering it. He let out a breath, disappointed he couldn’t let it happen. “You can’t make me do that. There has to be some kind of boundary on the ship.” It was one of the times when ‘no’ meant ‘no.’ 

“You and your fucking boundaries.”

“If it was just me, you, and Naomi, it would be a different story,” he said. It was hard to take him seriously coated in come. “But public indecency is generally frowned upon in the workplace.” If only he knew that Alex would go crazy to see him like this, the fucking voyeur. 

“Fine, you can lick it up, but I’m gonna beat your ass for it.” 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

###  **Alex**

_ Fucking Amos,  _ Alex thought as he finished, alone in his quarters. He wiped the come off of his chest with a tissue. 

Alex remembered everything about the night before, and wished he’d been drunk enough not to. Though, if he’d have been just a little bit drunker, there’s no way he would’ve turned down Amos’s mouth on his dick. He rationalized it to himself by trying to remember how excruciatingly long it had been since someone sucked him off, but he knew that wasn’t the whole story. He didn’t want just anyone to satisfy his need. He wanted Amos. Fuck, he _ wanted _ Amos. 

He’d never been attracted to a guy before, but also never steadfastly ruled it out. It just hadn’t been something he considered. If someone told him before Ilus that he’d be attracted to a guy, he might tell them crazier things have happened, but if they told him he’d be attracted to Amos, he’d have punched them in the face. Or, realistically, he’d probably just have laughed. It was a bizarre notion, but here it was, being true. 

The night before, Amos had offered to blow him. He’d even offered to let Alex fuck him, though Alex didn’t think he had any interest in interacting with Amos’s asshole. A blow job sounded good, though. 

Then there was today. They were both stone sober, so there was no excuse. He’d walked in on Holden and Amos, and he stayed to watch for a lot longer than he shoud've. Amos talked to him through it. They made eye contact. He was hard. There was no hiding from the fact that it turned him on. In all honesty, he had wanted to stay longer. He wanted to jerk off while he watched Holden get fucked while Amos looked at him and made him feel seen. He wanted to come on Amos’s face. Or Holden’s. He wasn’t picky. He wanted to be a part of it. He didn’t know if it was a lonely thing or a horny thing, but he wanted to be a part of it. 

✧✧✧

Naomi was in the galley when he finally felt safe enough to leave his quarters without witnessing any public displays of cocksucking. She offered him tea, and he accepted. They sat together at the table. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” said Naomi.

“No ghosts. Just Amos’s penis.” 

“Oh, yeah. That monster will give you PTSD.” 

“You’ve seen it?” she raised her eyebrows. “Sorry, none of my business. I just didn’t know you three were… I don’t know. Forgive me. I no longer know what is appropriate to talk about.” 

“I know what you mean. The line is kind of blurred. But if you find yourself curious, I’m pretty sure there is no question Amos won’t answer.”

“But the catch is he’ll give me way more information than I asked for.” Naomi laughed and sipped her tea. 

“I have seen Amos’s penis. That’s all the information I’m willing to give right now. Though, get me drunk a little later and we can all swap horror stories.” 

“I don’t know if I’m fixin’ to get drunk with y’all again any time soon. I can’t trust myself.”

“Did you two do something you regret? Am I allowed to ask that?” 

“Sure, I guess we’re all open books now. We didn’t do anything. I just… walked in on him and Holden doing something I didn’t want to see.”

“Yikes. Sorry. Probably should knock before you go into Amos’s quarters from now on.”

“I’m pretty sure Amos masturbates like seven times a day. I’ve always known better than to walk into his quarters without knocking. Just didn’t think I had to knock before going in the hallway outside the engineering room.” 

“The  _ hallway? _ God, I’m sorry. I have to have a talk with them. Jim should know better than that.” 

“To be fair, Holden didn’t seem like the guy callin’ the shots.” 

“God, the man does not say no to anything.” 

“You’re a lucky woman,” he joked, and then immediately regretted it. He couldn’t decipher the look Naomi gave him. 

“Is that what you look for in a partner? Someone who doesn’t say no to anything?” 

“Are you allowed to ask  _ that?”  _

“I guess not,” she shrugged, but she was smiling.

“No, that’s not what I’m looking for in a woman,” he didn’t know why he felt the need to clarify ‘woman’. But he did. Maybe he had more hang-ups about being perceived as something other than straight than he wanted to admit. “Could be a perk, though,” he added. Naomi laughed, and he was beyond relieved that she took it for the joke it was. Though, he supposed she couldn’t be very judgmental if she was sleeping with two of the horniest men in the galaxy. “No,” he doubled back, “I’m not into anything weird like your boyfriends.” 

“I’m so sorry you had to see that,” she said, and he was surprised she didn’t dispute the ‘boyfriends’ comment. Maybe they were all three together. He couldn’t even begin to understand it. 

Alex didn’t have the kind of relationship with Naomi where it felt appropriate to ask any further questions, but she was right that the line had been blurred, and his curiosity was beyond piqued. He took a shot in the dark and asked one more. 

“Are you really good with all this? I know it’s none of my business, but you gotta know I care about you and–” 

“I really wish you and Jim would stop asking me that. If I ever, for a second, am not good with all this? It’ll be over.” 

“Good. Good.” Silence hung over them for a while as they sipped their tea. 

“Are you and Amos going to…” Naomi started, then stopped herself. “None of my business.” Alex swatted at the air in a dismissive gesture. Everyone’s business was everyone’s. 

“Not that I know of. Why, he interested?” 

“Are you?” 

“In what, exactly? Letting him fuck my face in a hallway where anyone could walk by? No.” Naomi grimaced at that, and Alex took it to mean she understood what he’d walked in on earlier. 

“In anything?” Alex contemplated that. He could really use someone to talk to about it all, but he didn’t know if he could trust Naomi not to repeat everything back to Holden, who would undoubtedly repeat everything back to Amos. 

“Off the record?” Naomi’s eyes widened, like she didn’t expect that.

“Sure. Between you and me.” 

“I’ve been curious about it. Don’t know if I’m curious enough to get involved in whatever messed up thing Holden and Amos have going on, but I’ve been curious.”

“Curious as in…” 

“Curious as in the way I don’t think is appropriate to talk about with my XO over tea.” 

“Right. Wow. Well, my lips are sealed. But I think you should talk to Amos about it.” 

“Or I could just suffer in silence for the rest of my life. I think I like my option better.” 

“Your choice.” 

“Do you think we’ll ever get to a place where we’re not constantly having awkward conversations about sex?” Alex asked after a beat. “I would really like to get back to that.” 

“You prefer interplanetary wars and alien planets and protomolecule threats?”

“Yes.” 

“I’ll drink to that,” she said, and sipped her tea. 


	6. Chapter 6

###  **Amos**

Amos’s new favorite activity when Holden was busy was walking into Alex’s quarters without knocking. Alex insisted that he kept “forgetting” to lock the door because he “wasn’t used” to such invasions of his privacy, but Amos was convinced Alex liked the intrusions, so he kept doing it. Usually, the worst thing he walked in on was Alex changing. This time was different. 

Alex was in his undershirt and boxers, his dick half-hard but not yet exposed. There were tissues on his bedside table, but a notable absence of lube, which made Amos pity him a little. He was projecting a video from his hand terminal into the air and rubbing himself lazily through the fabric of his boxers.

“Satisfying your curiosity?” Amos startled him. Alex covered himself with a blanket and scrambled for his device, but Amos was closer to it. He picked it up and kept it away from Alex. The porn continued to play. Amos half paid attention to it while he spoke to Alex. It wasn’t a great video. 

“What did Naomi tell you?” Alex asked, which confused Amos. He hadn’t known Alex and Naomi even talked. 

“Nothing. We haven’t talked about you in days. You’re not usually on my mind when I’m eating her out. Why, what did you tell Naomi?” Alex flushed.

“Nothing,” he lied. Amos brushed it off. “Didn’t know you and her were…” 

“Fucking? Yeah. Threeway sex is awesome. Scoot over.” Alex didn’t protest, which was interesting. 

“This isn’t usually a group activity.” Amos ignored him, and pulled the blanket off of Alex. His dick was definitely more interested now that Amos was in the equation. Good. 

“You always watch guy-on-guy stuff?” 

“No. I was… curious.” Amos smiled at that. He’d piqued Alex’s interest, at least. Amos scrolled through the website on Alex’s hand terminal. 

“This stuff is garbage. You turned on by this?”

“Barely.” 

“Free porn is all sketchy, low-quality, free-booted bullshit. Let me show you the finer things in life, my friend.” 

“I ain’t paying for gay porn. I’m not that curious.”

“Good thing I already do.” Amos went to a different website and entered login information. 

“You pay for porn?”

“I got way more money than I know what to do with now. Might as well use it to respect sex workers.”

“How unexpectedly noble of you.” 

“If some twink’s making me come, I’m gonna make sure he’s an adult, he consented to it, and he’s getting paid. It’s that simple.” 

“You always watch gay stuff?” Alex changed the subject, and Amos wondered if he’d been uncomfortable with the topic. Maybe he felt guilty about watching free porn. Amos resolved to hook him up with some passwords. 

“Nope. Not picky. Ass is ass. You wanna pick something or should I?” 

“I don’t know where I would start.”

“Right. I forget you’re so vanilla, brother. Okay. Let’s find you something beginner-friendly.” 

Alex objected to the first couple videos Amos picked out. He wasn’t into step-dad or step-brother stuff, or anything where either of the guys looked younger than their mid-twenties, which ruled out a whole lot of porn tropes. No coaches, teachers, babysitters or poolboys. Amos assured Alex that everyone in the videos was eighteen, but Alex said that eighteen may as well be a baby, and that he didn’t need his porn to remind him that he was old. Amos didn’t think Alex was that old, but didn’t put it past him to be insecure about another stupid thing that didn’t matter. Who cares how old you are if you’re still hot? Alex finally agreed to a video where a gay guy talked his “straight” friend into experimenting, and Amos was careful not to point out the parallelism, though it amused him. 

The video was pretty hot, but Amos was more interested in watching Alex jerk off to it. Alex kept elbowing him, telling him to keep his eyes on the screen or get out, but Amos kept catching his friend’s gaze landing on his own cock straining in his coveralls. If Alex wanted a show, Amos would give it to him. 

He got up and unzipped himself, not meeting Alex’s eyes but feeling them on him anyway. He considered getting fully naked, but thought that might freak Alex out, so he left his boxers on. He got back in bed, and Alex was tense. He considered that a victory. 

Alex stopped pretending to be looking elsewhere when Amos pulled out his dick. It was hard and leaking precum. A spectacle, if nothing else. Amos spat in his hand and ungracefully stroked himself as he watched the two men move together on screen. The gay man was on his knees, working the “straight” man to hardness. It was a marvel that porn like this still existed. Decades, maybe centuries, after the general public stopped giving a fuck whether anybody liked licking dicks or clits, men were still watching porn where other men pretended to take cock for the first time, like it mattered. There was something quaint about it, archaic as it was. Alex appeared to have no qualms with the cliche. 

When one man on screen took the other into his mouth, Amos decided to be a little bold. 

“I can do that for you, you know.”

“You’ve made that clear.” 

“I’m just saying. It would be a lot better than jerking yourself without lube.” Alex sighed deeply, and Amos didn’t know if he was exasperated by the offer or just seriously considering it. 

“It’s a bad idea. This whole thing is a bad idea, but I’m horny and stupid enough to let it happen. Don’t push it.” 

Amos rolled his eyes. First Holden, now Alex. They were both the same. Maybe all men were like this, except for Amos. Everything that happened was a ‘mistake’ and everything that didn’t happen yet was a ‘bad idea.’ Amos didn’t typically feel regret, but he understood the concept. Regret happens when you do something that has consequences. Regret happens when you kill a guy who didn’t need to be dead, or break a law and get caught. Regret happens when you fuck somebody’s girlfriend and he stabs you for it. That made sense. What Amos didn’t understand was how Holden and Alex managed to feel regret about things that didn’t have consequences. Amos could make Alex come real hard and real fast and nothing but good would come out of it for either of them. But Alex would regret it, and Amos didn’t want to be one of Alex’s regrets. So he didn’t push it. 

“Okay, then,” Amos stood to leave, picking up his uniform and not bothering to put it on. He didn’t act pissed or disappointed, he didn’t want to put any pressure on it. He was simply bored of the back-and-forth, and could make himself come better in his own room, hopefully with Holden between his legs. “Hit me up if you’re ever not too ashamed to feel good. Or, if you like to watch so damn much, I’m sure Holden would love to show off sometime, if you’re ever man enough to ask. He’s a total exhibitionist, and he takes it better than any porn star I’ve seen.” 

“Amos…” 

“Feel free to keep using my login. I think you could use it more than me. I got a couple more accounts if you’re looking for straight shit, too.” He started towards the door but didn’t make it far.

“Wait.” 

“Don’t, Alex. I’m not gonna stand here and listen to another person I care about say having sex with me would be the worst thing in the fucking world. I may not have feelings, but I still have dignity. If you want something, you can use your words and ask for it. If not, I’m leaving.” 

“I want to watch you come,” Alex said, voice barely audible. Amos wasn’t expecting that.

“What’s that?” he teased. Alex spoke louder, looking more past Amos than at him.

“I like to watch, apparently,” he looked like he was going to throw up with the courage it took to admit it. “You’re attractive to me in a way I don’t understand, and your dick is impossibly big and I like watching you jerk off and I want to see you finish. I think if you touched me I would burst into flames. Just… show me. I want to know what you like.” 

“Wow. Yeah, okay. You can watch me jerk off, weirdo.” 

Alex frowned, and Amos smiled. He took his boxers off unceremoniously, and Alex let out a deep breath. 

“Spit,” Amos ordered, holding out his hand to Alex’s face. Alex looked confused. “You don’t have any lube. Get me wet. Unless you wanna choke on it a little to slick me up.” Alex spit in Amos’s hand, and that answered that question. It was worth a shot. 

Amos didn’t take his time. He sat on the bed, legs spread just enough to give Alex a good look at his cock and balls, and maybe a little peak at his hole, just in case he was interested. He knew how to put on a good show without looking like he was putting on a show. He knew how to be what Alex needed. He dragged his loose fist over the length of his dick with one hand, and teased his balls with the other. Alex’s stare was intense and his breath was bated. 

Amos didn’t talk through it. He just closed his eyes and let himself enjoy it. He thought about Alex’s mouth on him, training him to suck cock for the very first time. He thought about letting Alex watch while Holden bounced in his lap like the exhibitionist slut he never allowed himself to be. He thought, once again, about fucking Holden from behind while Alex fucked Holden’s face, and thought maybe, just maybe, he could make that actually happen. He came in his own fist thinking about himself and Alex filling Holden from both ends. 

###  **Alex**

Amos was lifting his hand to his mouth to lick it clean when he caught Alex’s gaze. He looked like he’d forgotten Alex was in the room. Alex liked that. He didn’t want a show; he just wanted to know what Amos looked like. 

“Want some?” Amos offered, casual as ever. 

“No, thank you,” Alex rejected, but he wasn’t as disgusted as he thought he’d be. Maybe eventually he’d be bold enough to taste Amos’s come, but not off his hand like a dog. Holden could play puppy all he wanted, Alex would suck Amos’s big, hard cock, like a man. He didn’t know why there was more dignity in that. He acknowledged that the terms of his masculinity were beyond arbitrary, but that didn’t change them. Amos shrugged and licked the come up himself. Alex’s jaw would catch flies if they weren’t in outer space. 

“That what you wanted to see?” It was what he asked for, but not all that he wanted. He wanted to fuck that smug face until he came in it. He even admitted to himself for the first time that he wouldn’t mind taking that ass, either. It would probably be weird, the first time, but Alex figured he could deal. Funny, thinking of it as a favor Alex might do for Amos and not a favor Amos would do for him. He couldn’t say all that, so he said: 

“Yes, thank you.” 

“Should I leave now?” He could tell Amos wanted him to say no. Alex wanted to say no, too, but he was insecure and confused, and had a lot to think about. He wished it was as easy to say yes as it was for Amos. 

“I, uh… gotta…” he looked down at his erection. 

“Right. And you don’t want…”

“It’s not about want. I can’t.” Alex was lucky Amos didn’t push it, even though he knew it was bullshit. There wouldn’t be any external consequences if they went all the way right then and there. They could have filthy sex all night, and Amos wouldn’t even make it awkward after. Holden and Naomi probably wouldn’t even make it awkward. The only punishment would be the one he’d give himself. Unfortunately, that would also be the worst punishment he could receive, because it was one he couldn’t avoid. 

“Okay,” Amos said, seeming a little confused but not particularly disappointed. “You have fun. Come get me if you wanna have more fun.” 

Amos left, completely naked with his clothes in his hands. Alex didn’t know how he had the confidence, but he figured it wasn’t anything anyone on the ship hadn’t seen before. Besides, with a body like that, it’d be a shame not to show it off. Alex turned the porn off and finished the old fashioned way: thinking about his best friend jerking off in his bed. Maybe it wasn’t exactly a classic scenario. 

He wondered what the hell was stopping him from having a good time like everyone else. Even Holden, the guy who he thought had the biggest stick in his ass in the galaxy, was letting way looser than Alex thought anyone should. He kicked himself for being so reluctant. Feeling sorry for himself wasn’t new, but feeling sorry for himself for feeling sorry for himself was. 

Alex had never considered himself to be the kind of guy who likes to watch, and he was beginning to wonder if it was actually his preference. More likely, he wanted to be included but was afraid to participate. Watching was a palatable way to be included. What a stupid fucking notion. 

What was he so afraid of? For starters, he didn’t understand why Amos would want to have sex with him. Amos was having better, weirder, hotter sex with Holden and Naomi than he could ever have with Alex. Alex had no interest in being thrown around like a doll, talked down to, or humiliated like Holden apparently loved. Alex wasn’t young or experienced, and he didn’t consider himself even nearly in the same league as his three gorgeous crewmates. He didn’t get it. 

The only excuse his mind supplied was that Amos pitied him. That’s all that it was. Amos knew Alex was the odd man out on the Roci, and wanted to make it up to him by getting him laid. That’s how Amos’s mind worked: he saw a problem, and he fixed it if he could. If he couldn’t fix it with guns or power tools, he could fix it with his cock. Alex didn’t want to be a problem Amos had to fix. He supposed that meant he didn’t get to get laid. Oh well. At least he now had access to some good porn. He’d be needing it. 

###  **Holden**

“As much as I love to see that perfect body,” Holden started when they ran into each other in the hallway between Alex’s room and Amos’s, “you probably shouldn’t walk around naked.” He grabbed Amos’s bare ass, either for emphasis or just because it felt good in his hand. 

“Why not? Nobody on this ship hasn’t seen my junk before.” That was an admission. Amos was coming from Alex’s quarters, where they must’ve had sex. Holden knew it as soon as he saw him carrying his own clothes, but that was an admission. Holden wasn’t allowed to protest, and he didn’t want to make things weird, so he made a joke.

“You got something going on with Murtry I don’t know about?”

“Gross, no. I wouldn’t let just  _ anyone  _ near my dick.”

“Just most people.” 

“Well, sure. You got a problem with that?”

“Not allowed to. Come to my room, let me suck you off.” Maybe he wanted to stake his claim, a little bit. Alex may have made him come the first time today, but Holden could make him come the last couple. It was an awful way to treat a person, like a prize to be won. Holden and Amos hadn’t been known for treating each other like people. They both liked it like that. 

“Don’t think I can get it up again so soon.”

“Then come put a toy in me.”

“What’s in it for me?” 

“Don’t care.” 

“You’re such a romantic.” 

“You’d rather me tell you how much I love you? I can do that while you fuck a toy into me.” 

“Nah, fuck off. I’m spent. Get your girlfriend to fuck you.” 

“She’s going through the repair checklist.”

“I did that this morning. Everything’s fixed that can be, which isn’t much. We’re lucky she’ll fly to Tycho, but if another ship so much as looks at us wrong, we’re doomed.” It was weird to talk shop in the hallway with a naked man. Not weirder than anything else, though. 

“No one’s gonna fuck with us right now. We’re in the pants of every major government.”

“Great. So nothing to do for eighteen months?”

“You’d rather that ‘something to do’ be ‘get killed?’”

“Guess not.” He didn’t seem entirely convinced, which was so typically Amos. 

“I’m gonna go read.” 

“I’m gonna put some clothes on.” 

✧✧✧

Holden was on the couch in the room that they’d designated as a living room. Martian warships usually have little use for that kind of space, but they liked to all lounge together every once in a while, so they put a coffee table in front of two of their largest crash couches pressed together into some semblance of a sofa, and bared a white wall to project movies and shows onto from one of their hand terminals. The copy of Don Quixote Mother Elise gave to him before Ilus was open in his lap, but he wasn’t paying much attention to it. He was thinking about what she’d think about what he had going on with his crew. He wondered if she’d understand. It went against everything his parents told him about polyamory, but he found himself not caring. It made him feel good, and loved, and safe. That could be enough for Holden. 

He was actually reading when Naomi came in and sat next to where he was lying. She didn’t disrupt him, she just stroked his hair, and he moved so he could settle his head in her lap. This was safety; this was home. He wasn’t even thinking about sex, which was a rarity lately. He was coming back into himself. Loving Naomi reminded him who he was. 

“Hey Cap?” Amos said, coming into the room, then apologized for the intrusion when he saw Naomi. Amos rarely apologized for barging in. Holden didn’t think he’d ever seen it happen. 

“You can come in,” said Naomi. 

“What’s up?” asked Holden.

“Dunno. Was just gonna bug you while you read.” 

“Come bug both of us, then.” 

Amos sat under Holden’s feet. Holden abandoned the book, and relaxed between the two people he loved most in the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alex i'm so sorry sweetie, i love you, be strong, one day you will have good sex


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know y'all want Alex/Holden/Amos/Naomi, and it's coming, but did you know there is not a single fic in the Holden/Amos/Alex relationship tag? Sure, the ship might be "unrealistic", but fuck if it ain't hot though. Here's some boys club porn. Now with feelings at the bottom of the box!

###  **Holden**

Holden, Amos, and Naomi were laying together on the couch in the living room when Amos broke their 4-minute-long record of peaceful abstinence by rubbing Holden’s dick through his pants. Holden stopped him. 

“Fuck, Amos, you know I hate having to stop you,” Holden whined.

“Then don’t.” 

“No public sex. This may not feel like a workplace, but it still is one. It’s not fair to Alex if we’re constantly fooling around at his fucking office.” 

“Then we won’t have sex in the pilot’s chair. Which is a big sacrifice for me, by the way. That would be really hot.” Holden glared at him, and he ignored it. “Actually, scratch that. We should do that.” 

“No sex anywhere Alex can walk in on,” Holden demanded. “It’s harassment.”

“Besides, I think he’s already scarred for life from what he walked in on in the hallway the other day,” Naomi added. Holden’s face hardened. 

“I didn’t know he saw that. Fuck, Amos, did you know he saw that?” Holden should be mortified, but he wasn’t. He really didn’t mind being seen. He didn’t want to create an awkward or hostile work environment, though. 

“I might’ve known that,” admitted Amos casually. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Thought you wouldn’t suck my cock in public again.”

“I shouldn’t have done that in the first place.” Naomi’s face hinted at her agreement. 

“I figured you’d say that, which is also why I didn’t tell you. You need to relax.” Amos rubbed Holden’s feet to calm him down. It didn’t work.

“You, uh, spoke to Alex earlier, right?” Holden knew they did more than speak, but didn’t know the specifics.

“Yes,” Amos said, and didn’t elaborate. Holden took it to mean that the specifics were none of his business. He hated that. Alex had the right to privacy, but Amos could never keep his mouth shut when it came to telling Alex what he did with Holden. Why shouldn’t Holden get to know what Amos did with Alex? 

“What did you… what did he say?”

“You worried that he’s uncomfortable with what he saw? Or you wanna know if we fucked?” 

“I kind of want to know if you and Alex had sex,” Naomi chimed in, and Holden was grateful he didn’t have to be the one to ask. “I mean, out of curiosity if nothing else.”

“Alex doesn’t have a problem with what he saw,” Amos said, and Holden couldn’t tell why he was evading the question. Maybe Alex asked him specifically not to tell. Amos didn’t have enough shame to hide things on his own, but he was loyal enough to keep a secret when it meant something to someone else. 

Alex came into the room looking for Amos, and was starting to stutter an apology when Naomi stopped him. 

“You’re more than welcome to come hang out with us, Alex. It’s not an exclusive club.” Alex narrowed his eyes at that, but came into the room anyway. He sat uncomfortably on the chair adjacent to their couch. The three of them as a unit with Alex close but not attached was symbolic in a way that made Holden feel guilty. Like he was a mean girl at the popular table. He didn’t want to be. 

“We should probably all talk, anyway,” Holden said, sitting up, no longer comfortable with his head in Naomi’s lap and his feet in Amos’s. 

“That’s my cue to leave. Anyone who wants to come fuck me is welcome.” 

“Stay, Amos.” Amos grumbled, but stayed. 

“Can I sit on your cock while you talk?” 

“What? No.”

“Can I prep myself while you talk so I can sit on your cock later?” 

“No, Amos. Be appropriate for five minutes.”

“And _ then _ I can sit on your cock?” Holden looked at Alex to gage his reaction. He was blushing, but didn’t look half as disgusted as Holden would’ve expected. That, and the fact that he hadn’t flat out left yet, made it impossible for Holden to know what he was thinking. 

“We can discuss that when we’re  _ alone.” _ His gaze shifted between Amos and Alex. He didn’t want to say ‘not in front of Alex,’ but he might as well have. 

“Come on, Alex doesn’t mind. He likes to watch, let him watch.” 

“Amos…” Alex implored, and Holden wouldn’t have believed it was true if he’d said nothing. He may as well have said ‘I told you that in confidence.’ Holden looked at Naomi, whose eyes were wide like she understood as well. Alex wanted to watch. 

“What?” asked Amos innocently. “You wanna watch and Holden wants to be watched. You’re both just too chicken to ask for what you want.”

“You want to have a fucking  _ orgy? _ ” Holden asked. 

“Why not?” Holden looked at Naomi and wished to God he could read her mind. She almost looked to be considering it. 

_ “Why not?” _ Holden asked, as if he had a reason why not. 

“Yeah. Why not. Someone give me a reason why not.” 

“It would be… complicated, right?” Naomi offered, and Holden wished she was more convinced. 

“It’s already complicated. You’re fucking Holden and I’m fucking Holden, and you and me are both fucking Holden at the same time, and something’s goin’ on with me and Alex that isn’t quite fucking but it could be if he got the stick outta his ass,” Holden raised his eyebrows at that. Amos continued unfazed. “And Holden wants to be fucked all the time and all over the place but he’s not allowed to because he doesn’t want Alex to see, except he does want Alex to see, he just doesn’t want Alex to be upset about it, but Alex wants to see but he’s not allowed to see. Tell me how that’s less complicated than an orgy.” 

“He’s got a point,” Naomi said with surprise in her voice. Holden looked at her, betrayed. She was supposed to be the rational one. There was no way an orgy was the rational thing to do. 

“No he doesn’t,” Alex spoke up. “I don’t know what all reasons y’all need to have sex, but I’m not pulling my dick out because it’s the least fucking complicated option. I’m alright being the odd man out. I don’t need your pity sex.” 

“Fucking hell, Alex, that why you wouldn’t fuck me? Grow the fuck up. Nobody pities you. If you think I’m gonna suck a cock I don’t wanna suck as a fucking courtesy, you’re a dumbass.” 

“So you…  _ want _ me? I mean like, you want to have sex with me?” Alex looked genuinely surprised by that, which Holden didn’t understand. Isn’t that what this has all been about? What could they have done that ‘wasn’t quite sex?’ 

“Yes, genius. That hard to believe?” 

“Yes.” 

“I don’t know what else I gotta say to prove it, but if you think I’m gonna tell you you’re pretty and I have a crush on you, think again. You wanna fuck, I’m down.”

“Oh.” Alex seemed to be thinking that over, like it was news. “Um, okay.” 

“Okay?” Holden felt like he was barging in on a private moment. “‘Okay’ to what, exactly?” 

“Not an orgy,” Alex clarified. 

“Good to know I’m not the only one who hasn’t gone fucking crazy,” Holden said, targeting Naomi more than Amos. 

“I just said he had a point,” she reasoned. “Everyone sleeping together except for Alex is more complicated than everyone sleeping together, period. But if anyone objects, obviously it’s a no.” 

“But you don’t object,” Holden clarified.

“We’d have to talk about it more.” Amos groaned. She ignored it. “But I think it could be fun.”

“It has to be about more than whether or not it’s fun,” argued Holden, not conceding that it wouldn’t be fun. It would be very fun. That wasn’t reason enough, was it?

“Why?” asked Amos simply. Holden didn’t really have an answer for that. 

“I don’t know, but it does,” was his pathetic answer. Amos smiled like he’d won.

“Okay. So that’s an ‘I’ll think about it?’” 

“No. Maybe. No. I need a drink.”

“Later. You owe me a cock in my ass.” 

“I don’t owe you shit.”

“You’re gonna fuck me anyway, though.” Holden looked at Naomi for permission. She just laughed, amused. 

“Yeah, big guy, okay.” 

“Gonna let Alex watch?” 

“Not interested,” Alex said, unconvincingly. 

“How ‘bout this: fair warning. I’m gonna go get a bottle of whiskey and a couple of glasses. Then Jim and I are gonna fuck on this couch. Anyone who wants to watch is welcome to stay, but nobody’s gotta walk in on anything they don’t wanna see. How’s that sound?” 

“I don’t know, Amos,” Holden started, and Amos cut him off.

“You got ‘til I’m back to think about it. No pressure. You know I won’t be disappointed if you wanna fuck me in my bed instead.” He kissed Holden, more tenderly than he’d have expected, and left. 

###  **Alex**

Alex hoped his panic wasn’t visible. Naomi and Holden said nothing about it, so he assumed he was in the clear, at least on the outside. On the inside, he was freaking the fuck out. 

Amos wanted him. He didn’t know what to do with that. Until then, Alex was operating under the digestible assumption that Amos was offering him a service. A favor that he couldn’t get elsewhere. Offering him sex was like giving him porn passwords, just a way to get off without strings. Alex didn’t want Amos’s charity. It had been difficult to say no, horny as he was, but he knew it was the right decision. Alex had no interest in sex with someone who wasn’t attracted to him.

Attraction was a game changer. Amos was genuinely interested in having sex with him. Alex didn’t know if he had it in him to say no. He didn’t know that he had a reason to anymore. 

“I think maybe this needs to be something you three work out on your own,” said Naomi as soon as Amos left. Alex was once again baffled by Naomi’s ability to be so casual about her boyfriend having sex with other people. A long time ago, he might’ve thought it meant she didn’t love Holden as much as Alex thought she did. Now, he considered that it meant she loved him more than he could possibly imagine. 

“You’re really okay with whatever happens?” 

“Yes, my love.” She wasn’t exasperated. Alex couldn’t relate. 

“And you’d tell me if you weren’t.” 

“Yes.” Still, nothing but love and patience. 

“Okay. I love you. More than—”

“More than anything, I know. Love you too, Jim. More than anything.” She turned her attention to Alex. “Alex, don’t do anything you don’t want me knowing about. Jim tells me everything. And I’m real fucking curious to see how this turns out.” Alex laughed, only slightly uncomfortably. Naomi knew how to put everyone at ease, or at least as at ease as one could be in a situation as fucked up as this. When she left, it was just Alex and Holden. Alex went from slightly uncomfortable to incredibly so with the click of the door closing. 

“Are you really gonna stay for this?” Holden asked him. If there was judgement or hope in his voice, it wasn’t detectable. It was a simple, straightforward question. 

“You gonna think I’m some creepy voyeur if I do?” he tried to be light, but the insecurity broke through. 

“No. I have lost all right to kink-shame. I am a little confused by it, though.” 

“What’s not to get?” 

“Why you’d watch  _ me _ fuck him when he’ll let  _ you _ fuck him.” 

“I don’t know.”

“Is it a sloppy seconds thing? You want me to come in him first? Want to fuck him through the mess I make in him?” 

“Jesus, Holden.” 

“Sorry. Though, if you can’t handle a little dirty talk, this is gonna get real weird real quick.”

“Weirder than it is?” 

“Exponentially.”

“Maybe I’m not cut out for whatever you two get up to.” 

“It’s weird. Fun, though. You gonna judge me for it?” 

“No.” The silence wasn’t nearly as awkward as he thought it’d be. That was a good sign. 

“So you think you’re gonna stay and watch?” 

“I reserve the right to leave at any time?”

“Obviously, man,” Holden answered, like he was offended by the implications of the question. “No pressure. Ever. Amos ever pressures you, you let me know. I’ll kick his ass.” 

“That’s adorable.” Holden blushed. It was cute. Holden was pretty cute. 

“Fine, I’ll… make him feel really guilty about it, I don’t know. Point is, any kind of pressure is not gonna fly here. ‘No’ is always an option.” 

“I appreciate that.” He looked down at his hands. “He’s taking a long time with the drinks.”

“Probably figured we needed the time to talk.” 

“Really? He’s not exactly Mr. Talk-Things-Through.” 

“Exactly. He doesn’t wanna be here for it.” Alex laughed. “We’re good?” 

“Yeah.”

When Amos came through the door, he had a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a bottle of lube in the other. 

“What happened to glasses?” Holden asked. 

“I only got two hands. We doin’ this?” he was looking at Alex. 

“I’m gonna need a lot of that, but I think so.” 

“The lube or the whiskey?” Amos asked, cheeky as ever. Alex grabbed the whiskey and took a swig. “Before you drink too much of that, you just watchin’? Not gonna give you anything you ask for drunk.”

“Won’t get too drunk to consent.” 

“Good. Want you to remember how good this ass feels.” 

“I don’t plan on fucking you.” 

“Yeah, but I plan on being very fucking persuasive. Get undressed, babe.” Holden was hesitant, looking between the two of them, but ultimately obedience won out. He took the whiskey from Alex, drank from the bottle, handed it back, and took his coveralls off. 

Holden’s chiseled features were prominent under his tight undershirt, his muscles spilling from his short sleeves, and his hard-on straining in his boxers. He was very classically handsome; it was no wonder he was the face of movements across the galaxy. Nobody looked at that face and didn’t fall at least a little bit in love. Alex was not currently focused on his pretty face, though his full lips did draw a little bit of his attention before it was pulled elsewhere when he took his shirt off. Holden was fucking hot. Alex didn’t usually think twice about it, but it was no wonder that everyone on the ship was fucking that gorgeous body. Holden seemed to catch him staring as he discarded his boxers, and there was no question that he liked the attention. He had every right to be cocky with an ass like that, round and full and, for lack of a better word, spankable. Alex had never thought about someone’s ass like that, not even a woman’s. But now, before the whiskey had even kicked in, he wanted to slap Holden’s ass and watch it bounce. He’d probably be allowed to. He took another gulp from the bottle to resist the urge. 

Amos saw him staring and must’ve read his mind, because his big hand came down to clap against Holden’s ass. 

“Sweetest fucking ass you’ve ever seen, right? God, can’t wait to see you split him open. Takes cock like a pro,” he said, like Holden wasn’t even in the room. 

“Thought I was fucking you tonight,” Holden protested, softly like he was embarrassed. 

“I know, baby boy. Just wanna show my perfect little toy off.” Alex was going to have to get used to the fact that Holden actually liked being talked to like that. He’d never understand it, but he had no problem being turned on by it as long as it wasn’t directed at him. Amos’s uniform was already on the floor. He was taking his boxers off when he asked, “how do you want me, Martian?” 

Alex did a double take. He didn’t know this was a choose-your-own-adventure.

“Uh, me?” 

“Your rodeo, cowboy. You want me on my back or on my knees?” 

“He looks really good on his back,” Holden contributed. Amos tenderly put his thumb between Holden’s lips to keep him quiet. Holden graciously accepted and sucked, wide-eyed, on the digit like a pacifier. 

“I know,” Alex admitted. The look on Holden’s face wasn’t readable, but the way Amos jerked his finger out of his mouth told Alex that Holden had bitten down on him, and hard. It earned him a smack across the face. 

“Behave, puppy. You don’t own me.” So Holden was the jealous type. Unexpected for a guy with two partners. 

“Look, if this is gonna be a problem for y’all, I can–”

“It’s not. I’m sorry,” said Holden. 

“It’s okay, Jim. Be a good boy. You can share.” Holden nodded. Alex didn’t know when Amos started calling Holden, ‘Jim.’ It was weird. It used to be only Naomi called him that. It felt like being let in on an intimate secret. 

“On my back?” Amos asked, fully naked. Alex couldn’t muster more than a nod. Amos laid back on the couch and spread his legs, wider and more indulgent than he had in Alex’s bed before. Alex could see that hard cock leaking precum against his impressive abs, his balls tight and heavy. It was a sight he’d seen before, though he couldn’t imagine it would ever get old. But Amos’s muscled legs spread even further, with Holden’s assistance pressing them apart, exposing his hole, which was a revelation to Alex. “Eat me out.” 

Holden didn’t waste time diving in like there was a prize at the bottom of the box. He liked and sucked at Amos’s rim, and Alex wished he was more disgusted by it. It looked like it felt good. Amos ran his fingers through Holden’s hair and praised him like he was training a dog.

“So good at that, pet,” he said to Holden, then turned his attention to Alex like a spotlight. “You like what you see?” Alex’s blush stung like a sunburn. He didn’t know this show was going to require this much audience participation. He nodded helplessly. “Take your cock out, brother. Show off a little. Want to make you come.” 

Alex was reluctant, but he unzipped his coverall, enough to take his erection out of his boxers without undressing more than he had to. Amos looked a little disappointed by that, which boosted Alex’s ego, but not enough to get him naked. Amos handed him the lube. Alex jerked himself slowly, desperate to make it last. 

“Look at that fat cock, baby boy. You want that in your mouth?” Amos asked, and Holden turned to look at Alex. He licked his lips, but didn’t answer. “You wanna suck on that dick while I fuck your hole?” 

“Amos…” Alex warned. 

“Don’t worry, Alex. I know the rules. Jim here just loves to get spit-roasted, don’t you, babe?” Holden’s nod was small. “It’d be nice to have two real cocks inside you instead of one cock and a big plastic knock-off, won’t it?” Naomi fucked Holden with a toy? Alex wanted to see that. Alex really, really wanted to see that. 

“You ever gonna stop running your mouth and let me fuck your ass?” 

“Probably not. Fuck my ass anyway.” Holden grabbed the lube from Alex and slicked up his fingers. Amos’s moan when the first finger penetrated him felt more like a performance than a genuine reaction. The noise he made when Holden skipped the second finger to force in a third, that was real. “Fuck yeah, Jim. Forgot you know what you’re doing.” 

“‘Cause you never let me fuck you.” 

“Be grateful, then.” Holden slicked himself up with one hand while his three fingers moved inside Amos, scissoring and stretching. Alex watched intently like there would be an exam later. He’d never been with a woman who let him near her asshole, and porn isn't exactly a how-to guide for sufficient prep, so he watched and learned. He didn’t want to hurt anybody, and he also didn’t want to look like the amateur he was, which should be less important, but wasn’t. It occurred to him that he was making plans to fuck Amos sometime in the future. Or maybe Holden. Probably both, the way things were going. He liked that plan, and he was hardly even feeling the liquor. 

Amos stopped Holden to reposition himself on his hands and knees, and Holden seemed disappointed by that. Alex wasn’t. He liked the view. 

“Alex, no pressure, but you’re welcome to come over here and let me suck your dick,” Amos said, his voice a little broken as Holden’s dick pumped in and out of his ass. Alex’s gaze was transfixed on the slide of it as he transitioned from slow and gentle to fast and punishing. It was a fucking marvel to behold. Amos I’ll-Kill-You-If-You-Look-At-Me-Wrong Burton, taking a dick in his ass like a bitch in heat and loving every second of it. Asking for more. 

“Can I just jerk off on your face?” It was the first full sentence that Alex had uttered since they’d started, and it rushed out before he had the chance to think twice about it. It made them both laugh, which he took as a bad sign. 

“Fuck, yes,” Holden said. “Let him come on your face while I come in you.” 

“You’re cleaning it up after, slut,” Amos said, which was a yes. 

“Obviously.” Alex hadn’t known that was obvious, but he was more than okay with it. Amos closed his eyes and opened his mouth, and it was the most beautiful thing Alex had ever seen. ‘Beautiful’ probably wasn’t the word for it, but his brain was a little bit broken, and that’s what it had to offer. 

Amos had been right that jerking off was a lot better with lube. It was also a lot better when you got to come all over your best friend's face while you listened to the delicious sounds of him moaning on your captain’s cock. Some experiences aren’t universal. 

He lasted about as long as a human person could under the circumstances. The euphoric sound of Holden coming in Amos’s ass sent him over the edge all over Amos’s parted lips. Amos looked completely defiled, naked and unashamed. 

“Fuck, you look good like that,” Alex said. 

“Yeah? Take a fucking picture,” he answered, getting up from his hands and knees to move into a sitting position. Holden immediately scrambled to his lap to kiss and lick Alex’s come off of Amos’s face. If Holden had any reservations about being watched in the beginning, they were long gone. Alex didn’t know if it was the sex or the alcohol that did it, but Holden hadn’t had as much as he did, and even Alex wasn’t drunk enough to lose his inhibitions, so he had a guess. 

“I don’t know enough about the weird shit you’re into to know if that’s a joke.”

“It’s a joke. I might let  _ you, _ but Holden would get his hands on the picture and make it his screen saver.”

“Nah, I’d make prints. Keep one in my wallet, maybe hang a poster over my bed.” 

“Slut.” 

“Not often I get to see you covered in come,” he said by way of defense before returning to his cleaning duty, and that was interesting to Alex. Amos let him come on his face but Holden couldn’t? Why? 

“You let me do shit you don’t let your boyfriend do?” They both grimaced at the b-word, but didn’t say anything. 

“I think it’s cute when he gets jealous. Makes him fucking feral for my cock.”

“More feral than usual?”

“If you can believe it.” Amos hadn’t come yet. The pink head of his cock was turning purple as it leaked. Holden was rocking against it impatiently. 

“Not  _ feral,” _ Holden argued, “just… hungry.” 

“You haven’t swallowed enough come yet tonight?”

“Nope,” he popped the ‘P’ sound with wet lips.

“Alex, you wanna see how good my little cocksucker is?” 

“Sure,” said Alex, sipping from the bottle of whiskey. Amos grabbed it from him and took a swig as well.

“Fuck, yeah.” Holden was on his knees in an instant. 

“Hum on it, princess,” Amos commanded, and Holden took it deeper than he could handle. “He’s like a fucking Hoover.”

“Slutty,” Alex said. Holden pulled off and narrowed his eyes at him. Apparently only Amos got to call him that. Amos pulled him back to work and he went willingly. 

“Don’t you fuckin’ stop, brat. You pull off again, it’ll be the last chance you get to breathe before I spill in you.” Alex looked at him, but Amos didn’t offer an excuse or explanation. He simply continued their casual conversation over the sound of Holden choking on his dick. “I swear, he could live on come and coffee and be the happiest man alive.” 

“You always this brutal?” asked Alex, trying to hide his fear.

“I give him what he needs. Sometimes he needs brutal– Oh, fuck, good boy, gonna make me come– Why, you scared?”

“Should I be?”

“No. I can give you what you need, too.”

“What do I need?”

“Not sure yet. It’d– almost there baby, take it deeper– be easier if you weren’t so afraid to tell me.” 

“What if I’m not sure, either?” 

“Then– That’s it, baby boy, swallow my load– I’d be more’n happy to help you figure it out.” When he was finished, Holden was back on Amos’s lap, jizz spilling from his lips. Amos kissed the come from his mouth, and Alex suddenly felt like an intruder all over again. It wasn’t the kind of performative come-swap he saw in Amos’s porn history. Amos and Holden kissed like they were sharing something sacred.

They were basking in the afterglow, passing the bottle between them, when Holden interrupted. 

“What did you mean, you give me what I need?” This felt like the start of a conversation Alex shouldn’t be allowed to hear, but he was comfortably buzzed, laying on his back on the crash couch next to Amos’s gorgeous naked body, and he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Besides, he wanted to know.

“Way I see it, there’s two types of guys.”

“Not this again,” Alex moaned, recalling being called the kind of guy that needs to be protected years earlier. He’d never forgotten how it stung. 

“Not that. You’re still on that? God, you don’t think that’s changed?”  _ Has it? _

“What are the two types of guys, Amos?” Holden brought him back on topic, which frustrated Alex. He’d have to ask what he meant later. 

“There are the guys who always have to be in control in life, even if they don’t want to. Guys who are presidents and officers and captains, who feel like they have the weight of the whole fucking world on their shoulders, or, in your case, guys who somehow always do. Sometimes, guys like that need to let somebody else have control. Be somebody’s bitch. Choke on a cock or three. Get taken care of for once, instead of takin’ care of everybody else.”

“I’d never put that much thought into it,” Holden mused, impressed. 

“Am I wrong?”

“No, don’t think so.” Holden admitted quietly. “What’s the other kind of guy?”

“The opposite. Guy who doesn’t get to be in control. Takes that control in bed. That’s fun, too.” 

“That you?” Alex asked, hoping Amos didn’t mean him.

“No.”

“Me?”

“Could be. I’m game to find out.” 

“Don’t get your hopes up, you might get on my last nerve but I got no interest in slapping you around like a rag doll.” Amos laughed. 

“It’s not about that. It’s about control. You want to come on my face, and fuck my ass, and feel like a man while you do it. You wanna be the boss.” Alex figured there was some truth to that. It scared him. 

“What about you, then?” Alex asked, not knowing what to do with the unsolicited analysis of his character. 

“I like bein’ what you like,” he answered simply. It was the most insight into how Amos’s mind worked that Alex thought he’d ever get. 

“I thought there were only two types of guys,” said Holden.

“Never really could be categorized, me.” 

“Fair.”

There was a pleasant silence for a while. Holden’s head rested on Amos’s shoulder. Amos and Alex were close, but not touching. 

“Where did all this wisdom come from?” 

“Fucked a lot of guys. Lot of guys fucked me. I had a long life before you knew me.” Alex only knew a little bit about that life. He wondered if Holden knew any more than he did. He didn’t think so. “M’not the moron I look like.”

“Never thought you were a moron. Most days I think you’re smarter than me, you just know better than to run your mouth when you don’t know something.”

“Wow,” Alex drawled, “Ilus really changed you, Hoss. You’da never admitted that two years ago.” 

“Ilus did change me. I have never felt so fucking small. You were wrong about one thing, Burton. I don’t have any control. None of us do.”

“Fucking downer, Jim. Didn’t you used to get horny when you got drunk?” Even Alex knew that was a yes. 

“Am I wrong?” 

“No. But I never said you  _ had  _ control. Just that you had to  _ be in _ control.”

“What about you? Are you in control, Amos?” Alex asked. 

“Fuck no. But I don’t gotta be. I just do whatever’s in front of me. These days, most of the time that’s Holden.” Holden smiled fondly at that. 

“Would you punch me in the face if I told you I loved you right now?” Holden said, and Amos actually smiled. 

“Probably.” 

“Okay. Won’t say it then.” Amos kissed him, and Alex thought it meant ‘I love you, too.’ Or at least as close to it as Amos was capable of. 

As the three of them laid together, getting drunker and drunker, Alex wasn’t uncomfortable or jealous. He was just happy.

Maybe an orgy was an okay idea, after all. 


	8. Chapter 8

###  **Naomi**

Though she had resolved not to wait up, Naomi was still awake when Holden crawled clumsily into their bed late that night. 

“Did I wake you up?” he slurred. 

“No, darling.” She’d only actually got in bed about an hour before. The disrepair of the ship was stressing her out. She wasn’t used to problems she couldn’t fix, but the damage done by pulling the Barbapiccola into orbit would require new parts and a full team of repair workers. The Rocinante was a lot of things, but a tow truck wasn’t one of them. A drunk, happy Jim would be a pleasant distraction from her own mind coming up with all the worst-case scenarios that could happen in more than a year of space travel in a broken ship. 

Holden was fully naked, and seemed to only learn that when Naomi pointed it out. She asked if he knew where his jumpsuit was. He did not. It must be on the floor in the living room. 

“You’re not staying the night with Alex and Amos?” she asked. He never stayed with Amos, always made it back to their bed at the end of the night, but it wasn’t like that was an established rule. She had told him before that he was free to stay if he wanted to, but he’d acted like she was a crazy person. He said he’d slept without her for a year on Ilus, and he wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to be close to her ever again. She hadn’t expected him to _decide_ to stay with Amos and Alex as much as she’d expected him to pass out drunk and wake up next to them. He might have. 

“No, you. Always you,” he said simply. 

“Are they together now?”

“Yeah. Asleep. Cuddling. Amos is the little spoon.” 

“No way.” Her heart swelled with warmth at the picture. 

“They’re cute together.”

“Honestly, it’s about time.” She’d been rooting for Alex and Amos for a long time before Holden and Amos hooked up. It just made sense.

“You knew?”

“You didn’t?”

“I didn’t notice. But yeah, you’re right.”

“Are you jealous?”

“No. I just feel… lucky.” 

“‘Cause you're getting lucky?” Jim smiled, but shook his head. 

“‘Cause I’m surrounded by people who love me. Gotta stop trying to make everything make sense and just be happy.” She could’ve told him that. It was better he learned it on his own.

“Does that happiness involve an orgy?”

“Hope so.” Jim broke down laughing behind her, and all of her fears about the Roci went away. She laughed with him, more out of glee than actually finding anything funny. He kissed her cheek, and she turned around to face him. She leaned in to kiss him on the lips, but he stopped her. “You probably don’t wanna do that. I taste like two guys’ jizz and a whole lot of alcohol.” 

“You sucked Alex off?” she wasn’t offended as much as surprised. She figured some of the ice would have to break before they got that far, but maybe she under-estimated Holden’s sluttiness. 

“No. He jerked off on Amos’s face. What was I gonna do, _not_ lick it up?” 

“Guess not,” she said, laughing at the sincerity of it. 

“Was that bad? Should I not have? I know he was just supposed to watch, but—” 

“Relax, honey. You did good. You were a good boy.” His smile returned immediately. She kissed his jaw. He went from calm to giggly to frantic faster than she could follow. 

“Do you think that I’m so submissive in bed because I have to be in control all the time because everything goes bad all the time and the whole world is on my shoulders all the time and giving up any sense of control and getting fucked within an inch of my life is the only thing that keeps me sane?” That was a lot to unpack, all thrown at her in one fast-spoken drunken monologue that she could barely follow.

Did she think that his submissiveness came from a need to give up control? It made sense. He never really even wanted to be captain. Responsibility was thrust on him because he was an amazing leader, but he wasn’t power-hungry. His rejection of absolute power was part of what made him such a great leader. She knew the responsibility was draining for him, but she hadn’t connected any of that to his sexual submission. She’d never really even thought about a reason why Jim was the way he was in bed. He liked what he liked, and it turned her on like crazy. She never saw a reason to analyze it further, but this reason made sense. 

“Do _you_ think that?” 

“Amos thinks that. He’s probably right.” Since when was Amos the one analyzing human behavior complexly? 

“I think there could be some truth to that. I also think that there doesn’t have to be some deep, psychological reason behind it. A lot of people like what you like for a lot of reasons. Why, are you feeling insecure about it?” 

“I have been, a little bit. Thought something was wrong with me. But I didn’t really care, because it felt good and wasn’t hurting anybody, you know? But I like having a reason for it. Makes a lot of the anxiety go away.”

“That’s good, Jim.”

“Yeah. I think maybe I can just stop trying to control everything, at least for a little while. I mean, we have a whole year of not having to almost die in front of us. There’s nothing to control. We can just have fun. I want that. I want to be able to do that.” 

“I’m proud of you, baby.” 

“Yeah?” His smile was small and genuine. Not like his drunken grin, but like Jim Holden’s classic smile. Naomi loved to see it. She was excited to get to see it more. Maybe she could stop trying to control everything for a little while, too. 

“Are you tired?” she asked. 

“No, why?” 

“Think you’re too drunk to get it up?” He smiled. 

“Not sure. Fingers and tongue still work, though.”

“Go brush your teeth.” 

When Holden got back, smiling with his newly brushed teeth, Naomi was as naked as he was, holding a purple bunny vibrator. Holden had no trouble getting hard. 

###  **Amos**

Amos woke up with a body wrapped around him, which was unusual, but not unpleasant. The only person he’d ever actually cuddled before was Holden, and Holden was always the little spoon, obviously. He didn’t mind having Alex clung to his back, though he was a little on the big side for the position. Regardless, he didn’t move until Alex woke up. 

“You gonna be weird?” 

“Gonna be hungover.” That didn’t answer his question. Amos figured he was probably going to be weird. He didn’t really know how to act after waking up drunk in someone’s arms, so he decided not to act any different from how he normally acted. He stood up. 

“So I’m gonna make breakfast. You comin’?”

“I’ll meet you there. Need painkillers. Then tea,” he said, standing up as well. Amos was on his way out the door when Alex added, “you’re not gonna wear clothes?”

“Want me to?” He walked back toward Alex, dick hanging between his legs on full display. It was kind of a test. Amos wanted to know if Alex was uncomfortable. Lord knows he wouldn’t say it outright.

“Guess I don’t care,” he tried to act casual. His blush gave it away. “Don’t spill hot coffee on your junk, though. Wouldn’t want to burn that pretty dick.” There was his answer, delivered almost entirely with eye contact. 

“Might need you to kiss it better,” he said, invading Alex’s space. 

“Might oblige you that,” he spoke quietly. Amos put his hand on Alex’s cheek, clearly communicating his intentions while still giving Alex a chance to pull away and pretend it didn’t happen. When he didn’t, Amos leaned in for a soft kiss. When Alex looked at him like he’d just told him Mars was flat, Amos was ready to accept that as a ‘fuck off.’ Amos could deal with a no kissing rule. When Alex pulled him back in for a hungry, passionate kiss that made the first look like a family reunion, Amos was happy. 

Breakfast would be late that day. 

###  **Holden**

Holden woke up late with Naomi naked in his arms, and even the pounding in his head couldn’t ruin his mood. He let Naomi sleep, since he was the reason she was up so late, and went to the med bay for a painkiller. 

Alex apparently had the same idea. 

“Hey there, Hoss.” 

“Morning.” There wasn’t much to say to each other, but it didn’t feel particularly awkward. “Cheers,” Holden joked, holding up the shot, and they both hissed as it entered their bloodstream. They sat for a second as it worked. 

“It gonna be awkward if I, uh, fucked your boyfriend this morning?” Alex broke the silence. 

“Fucked, past tense?” 

“Yeah.” 

“As in, you're asking for forgiveness, not permission?” 

“Something like that. I need permission first, next time?” 

“Nah, man. You’re good. He’s not my boyfriend, by the way.” 

“Yeah, he is.” Holden didn’t really know what to say to that. Maybe he was. Either way, they weren’t exclusive. 

“You two are cute together.” 

“Don’t ruin it. It’s just sex.” 

“Right.” He didn’t say it was ‘just sex’ when it started between him and Amos. “How was it?” 

“That’s your business now?” 

“Licked your come off his face last night and you can’t tell me if the morning after sex was good?” 

“It was good. He’s… good.” 

“Yeah. He is. Gonna be a problem sharing him with me?” 

“No. I don’t think what you do and what we do can even qualify as the same activity.” The statement wasn't inherently judgmental, but the way it was delivered made it feel that way. 

“You judging me for it?” 

“Told you no.”

“But you are. Called me slutty last night.” 

“You are slutty. Pretty sure you’d suck me off right now if I asked you to.” Holden didn’t know why he was offended when Alex said it but not when Amos or Naomi did. He liked it when his lovers called him slutty. It was affectionate, like playfully punching your friend in the arm. Alex said it and it felt like a sock in the face. Like being judged. 

“I’d suck you off right now if Amos or Naomi asked me to,” Holden corrected. Alex laughed, but it wasn’t friendly. It was competitive. Like puffing his chest out. 

“So that’s what we are, then?”

“What’s that?” Holden asked. 

“Friends of friends. I’m the guy your boyfriend’s fuckin’ and you’re the guy I’m fuckin’s boyfriend.” 

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Your owner, then," he said, and it was like acid. Holden had felt less disrespected getting his face spat on. 

“Do we have a problem, Alex? Or are you just marking your territory? Don’t start a pissing contest you can’t win.” Alex didn’t say anything. He looked like he was trying to calm himself off a ledge. 

They both seethed in silence for a little while, neither moving to leave, but neither willing to break it. 

“So the orgy’s off, then?” Holden finally said, as if a joke could break the ice.

“Never agreed to any orgy.”

“Okay.” Holden decided he had just enough patience to approach this with compassion for a couple of minutes before he either punched Alex or went back to bed for a couple of hours. “Listen, I don’t know what the fuck just happened there. I don’t know if you’re freaking out about what you did with Amos or what, but you don’t get to take it out on me.” Alex took a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You in love with him or something?”

“What? No,” he said, and Holden was relieved to believe him. 

“This about him being a guy?” 

“What century is this?”

“Then what?” Alex took a deep breath. Holden gave him time to put it into words. 

“It doesn’t worry you that this could all fall apart at any instant?” Oh. That. Holden had been there about a million times. He still was there, most days. Until recently. “This is my family. This is all I have.” 

“Me too,” answered Holden. “Look, it used to worry me all the time. Was worried I was going to ruin everything. Then I realized that my worrying was gonna make it fall apart a lot worse than it would naturally.” 

“Knowing better than to worry ain’t gonna stop me worrying.”

“I know.” Holden took some time to figure out how he could put Alex’s mind at ease. “You know what Amos would say if I went up to him right now and told him I didn’t want to have sex anymore?” 

“What?” 

“He’d say ‘bummer. Can I still fuck your girlfriend?’” Alex laughed. 

“Yeah, probably. What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Well, then I’d say, ‘no’ and he’d say ‘yeah, figures. It was worth a shot,’ and I’d ask if we were still cool, and he’d say ‘yeah, dumbass, you think I’m gonna stop being your brother just because you don’t wanna choke on my cock?’ And then it’d be over, and we’d be friends.” 

“That easy?”

“Yes, because it’s Amos, and because sex and friendship are different planets for him. If the sex goes away, the friendship doesn’t leave with it. He wouldn’t let it."

"Maybe," Alex wasn't convinced. Holden was surprised to realize that he'd convinced himself. 

"He loves you. Loves us all. He doesn’t think he knows how to love somebody, but that’s just because his love doesn’t look like our love. Honestly, I think maybe his love is more pure than anyone else's." 

"And you love him?" 

"Yes," Holden said without hesitation, "and I love Naomi. And I love you. I don’t know if there’s anything that can tear this family apart, but I can tell you it won’t be sex. And it won't happen as long as Amos is alive."

“Good thing Amos will outlive us all,” he said softly. "Thanks, Jim." Alex had never called him 'Jim' before. It didn't bother him. 

“I meant what I said yesterday, there is no pressure to do anything you don’t want to do. But don’t say no because you’re scared you’re gonna lose us. You’re not.”

Then Alex did something unthinkable. He pulled Holden in by his collar, and kissed him on the lips. Alex must’ve been just as surprised as Holden was, judging by his wide eyes and blush. 

“Sorry,” he said, pathetically. 

“Don’t be.” 

“That was a weird thing to do.”

“Not weirder than licking your come off of Amos’s face. I think we’re good.” 

“Why is it less weird to see you naked than it is to kiss you?” 

“‘Cause I’m a slut. Let’s get breakfast.” 

  
  


###  **Alex**

Amos was sitting alone at the table with four bulbs of hot drinks and a plate of what used to be biscuits and gravy with a side of sausage maybe ten minutes before.

“What took you so long? No way you can get it up again that fast,” Amos accused. Alex figured he was joking. There was no way he thought he and Holden had sex, right? They couldn't even kiss without it being weird. 

“We had a conversation,” Holden explained. 

“Boring. Coffee for the slut, tea for the princess,” said Amos, handing out bulbs. “Food’s on the warmer. Get me seconds,” he handed his plate to Holden. 

“So you decided to put on clothes?” Alex asked as they sat down to eat.

“Looks like.” 

“Bummer,” said Holden. Alex had been thinking the same thing.

Naomi came down soon after they started eating and joined them. 

“So. Details,” she insisted after ‘good mornings’ and small talk, taking the tea Amos handed to her with a smile. 

“Amos looks really good on his hands and knees," Holden announced. 

"That's not news," Naomi smiled.

"Just saying, he should let me stuff his cute ass full of come more often,” Holden said. Amos threw the second half of the sausage he was eating across the table at him. 

“I got Alex for that, now. You’re back to being my cockwarmer,” Amos retorted. Holden pretended to pout. Alex thought maybe he should be offended by the objectification, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but laugh. Naomi laughed, too, and then Holden did, and it was a moment that Alex was happy to be a part of.

"I'm sure Alex doesn't mind sharing, do you brother?" Alex shook his head, but didn't say anything. 

"Should dust off my strap-on, see how much cock the tough guy can handle," Naomi added, and he'd never heard her say anything so vulgar. He had a feeling he was in for a lot of very pleasant surprises. 

"Yeah, yeah," Amos dismissed, smiling, "if anyone's taking all three of us, it's gonna be Whorin' Holden over here." 

"Sign me the fuck up," Holden said. Alex thought he could get on board with that. 

“How are you feeling, Alex?” Alex looked at Naomi like a deer in the headlights. He didn’t really know the answer to that. Or, he did know the answer; he was confused as shit, hornier than he's ever been, and more than anything, excited to tag-team Holden. But he didn’t know what the right thing to say at this moment was. Amos would say something crass. Holden might say something vaguely thoughtful, or otherwise, something slutty. Naomi would tell the truth, but the truth wouldn’t be embarrassing.

Alex considered maybe it didn’t matter if the truth was embarrassing. If it was, they’d make fun of him with love, not malice. He could say the wrong thing, and it would be okay. He didn’t have to worry about it.

“Earth to Alex?” Holden said. 

“What?”

“How are you feeling?” Naomi repeated. 

“Happy,” he said, like it was a marvel. He meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all asked for happy Alex?


	9. Chapter 9

###  **Amos**

Amos double- and triple-checked all the systems on the Roci every day, but there simply was not any real work to do, and there wouldn’t be any real work to do for over a year. So, with sixteen waking hours in a day cycle, and only about two of those hours dedicated to work on a day when they were specially thorough, sex became the primary pastime of everyone on the Rocinante crew. 

Everyone was fucking everyone. Amos was fucking Holden, Alex was fucking Amos, Holden was fucking Naomi, and Naomi was fucking Holden and Amos at the same time. Holden and Amos fooled around in just about every part of the ship, not caring who walked by. When Naomi walked in, she’d usually join them, or if they were doing something she didn’t have any interest in joining, she’d catcall, laugh, and leave. When Alex walked in, he would stay and watch, and, usually, jerk off. Sometimes he even joined in. There was no drama, just sex. It was Amos’s dream come true, minus one detail. 

They were all in agreement that the four of them together would be fun. They all wanted to do it. They’d spoken openly, regularly about everyone putting it in Holden at the same time. So why, Amos wondered, had a full week gone by since they all agreed to it and it still hadn’t happened? 

When he pressed Holden about it, the captain said some shit about it having to happen naturally. What a load of crap. What kind of orgy happens naturally? Was everyone just going to trip dick-first at the same time and accidentally slip it in Holden? 

He talked to Alex and Naomi about it, and, despite wanting it just as badly as he did, nobody wanted to push it. They were afraid of breaking the “delicate balance” they’d struck on the Roci. If Amos didn’t do something to make it happen, it was never going to happen. So he’d do something to make it happen. 

He started by rearranging the furniture in the living room. The sofa was made up of two crash couches that each fit two people laying down, but one was being used as a backrest, so it only really sat four if they were sitting up. Amos needed room for four people to have sex. He disassembled the sofa into two low beds that sat parallel to one another, with the coffee table in between them. That way, they could sit casually around the coffee table, two on each couch, and there would be plenty of room for all of them to spread out when things got not-so-casual. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” a voice behind him asked. He didn’t know when Holden came into the room. Amos was making the beds with fitted sheets, less for aesthetic purposes and more because he predicted his crewmates would make a fuss about getting come on their couch, and there was hopefully going to be a lot of come involved. 

“Setting up,” Amos answered. Holden seemed to be waiting for something further than that. Amos didn’t offer anything. 

“What are you setting up for?” he finally pried. Amos finished making one of the beds and turned to Holden, pecking him on the lips as a greeting. 

“Slumber party,” he said. “After dinner tonight.” 

“By ‘slumber party’ do you mean ‘orgy?’” Amos’s face approximated the look of someone who could be scandalized. 

“Don’t be crass,” he joked. Holden rolled his eyes. “I’ve never been to a slumber party. Figured we got nothing better to do, might be nice. Good, wholesome fun.”

“I’ve never heard you use the words ‘wholesome’ and ‘fun’ in the same sentence.” 

“There’s a first time for everything,” Amos said. Including foursomes. 

“So, this slumber party _isn’t_ going to end with somebody’s dick in my ass?” Holden asked. Holden knew what he was up to. He wasn’t really hiding it. Amos wasn’t trying to trick anyone into sex, he just wanted to make the transition comfortable. 

“I can’t predict the future, Captain.” 

“Need any help setting up?” Holden asked, which was interesting. Amos kind of thought Holden would be harder to get on board. 

“Nah. I just need to grab pillows and blankets from the unused bedrooms. Also, unrelated, where does Naomi keep her strap-on?” 

“Your idea of ‘good, wholesome fun’ involves an 8-inch plastic cock?”

“Doesn’t yours?” 

“I’ll bring it. Consider it a host gift.” Amos figured that was a people-with-money reference. 

“You just don’t want me to know where you hide it.” 

“That, too.”

Amos was excited.

✧✧✧

It was Holden’s turn to make dinner, but Amos wanted it to be special, and not some instant military meal like most nights, so he let him off the hook. Amos wasn’t any kind of chef, and the food in space was never really more than passable anyway, given the lack of fresh produce, meat, dairy, bread, and everything else with a shelf-life under a couple of years, but he could put something together that felt a little more elevated than normal. 

He wondered in passing when he became the kind of person who put this much effort into getting laid. He could get laid easily without doing any of this domestic bullshit. Ultimately, he decided it wasn’t about getting laid, as much as treating his family well. Super hot sex would be a very pleasant consequence of it, but it wasn’t the main thing. Besides, he was bored as shit, which was a big part of everything he did lately. 

“What are you making?” asked Alex behind him. He and Alex didn’t kiss in greeting. He didn’t like to compare his friendship with Holden to his friendship with Alex, but it was a difference he noticed. Alex only kissed him during sex. He didn’t think it meant anything, but it was there. When they weren’t having sex, Amos and Alex were pretty much the same as they always were. Alex reciprocated Amos’s vulgarity a little more, but otherwise, it was the same old friendship. Amos was grateful for it. 

“Meatloaf,” he answered, pouring an ‘egg’ and ‘milk’ mixture into a bowl of ‘meat.’ When Alex raised his eyebrows, he clarified: “sort of. Vat protein-loaf doesn’t have the same ring to it, but the recipe looks good. Plus mushrooms the way you like ‘em and I’m gonna try this trick I found to make the instant potatoes taste less like papier-mache. Should be good.” 

“Impressive, you proposing to Holden or something?” Amos rolled his eyes, and added a scoop from a MCRN-branded package of ‘bread’ crumbs into his bowl, followed by onion powder that might have at one point been made of onions, but it wasn’t likely. 

“Got literally nothing else to do. Can’t I treat my family good? Anyway, tonight is special.” He checked the recipe again. It said to ‘combine,’ but didn’t specify how. He rolled his sleeves up and combined it with his hands. 

“Special how? You could use the stand mixer.” 

“Throwing a little party. Why dirty another dish? I’ve put my hands in worse places.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’d kinda rather you used the stand mixer,” Alex grimaced. Amos’s gesture threatened to wipe the mixture on Alex’s face, but he didn’t follow through. “A sex party?” 

“No. Good, old fashioned slumber party.” Alex looked confused, or surprised, or impressed. Maybe he wasn’t thinking anything at all. Amos was really bad at reading emotions. He continued to knead the mixture. “Whether it becomes a sex party by the end of the night depends on you, Holden, and Naomi.” 

“You don’t care either way?”

“I might have a preference,” he said, removing the excess mixture from his hands and moving to the sink to wash them. 

“So, I should be prepared to end up with my dick in Holden?” Alex raised his voice to be heard over the faucet. 

“You’re not always prepared for that?” 

“Generally, no.” 

“Wow. I really don’t understand how other people’s brains work.” Amos dried his hands, then dumped the mixture ungracefully into a loaf pan. 

“What do you have planned for this slumber party, if not sex?” Alex pried. Amos whisked the brown sugar, ketchup, and mustard— three real ingredients they actually had— in a bowl, and shrugged cheekily. 

“Guess you’ll have to find out. Now go, I got a lot of work to do. Dinner’s at 1900 hours.” 

#### ✧✧✧

He was caramelizing mushrooms, the last step in his meal preparation, when Naomi came up to him and squeezed his ass. 

“Hey, cutie,” she said. He was pretty sure it was the first time she’d ever called him a pet name. He didn’t mind it, but it was confusing. Naomi was the best of the three at separating their sex life from their work life. Outside of sex, she treated him the same as she always did. He was like her little brother, who just happened to be 10 or 15 years her senior. They didn’t have a lot of sweet moments; they’d never even kissed during sex. He wondered if she’d let him if he tried. 

Amos liked Naomi more than he liked Holden or Alex. He cared about all three of them, would kill for or die for any of them in a heartbeat, and loved the taste of all three, but he _liked_ Naomi best. 

“Need help setting the table?” she asked. 

“I can handle it,” said Amos. He wanted everything to be his treat. 

“We should get you a cute little apron, make you cook naked.” 

“That’s more up Holden’s alley than mine.” 

“Sure, but you’re a better cook.” It wasn’t a hard contest to win. “I hear you have a slumber party planned?” He wondered what Holden told her. It didn’t matter. 

“Yeah.” 

“That a euphemism for group sex?” 

“Would you like it to be?” It was a tease, but he also wanted the answer. He respected her opinion. If she said it was a bad idea, it was a bad idea. He’d still probably try it, but he’d respect that it was a bad idea. 

“Wouldn’t mind it. It’s about time we all shared Jim between the three of us. He’s been fucking wanton for it.” 

“What about you?” 

“What _about_ me?”

“You want to, or is it for Holden?”

“Do I want to see my boyfriend take my fat strap-on while he gags on two cocks?”

“If that’s how you’re picturing it, sure.” 

“How are you picturing it?” 

“Oh, I been picturing it all sorts of ways for years. Don’t have a preference as long as my come ends up dripping out of that sweet ass.” Naomi seemed turned on by that. He liked turning her on. He wondered if he’d have time before dinner to eat her out on the table, but he didn’t make the offer. He didn’t know if she’d say yes to sex without Holden, and he really didn’t want her to say no. He’d rather not try than hear her say no. 

“The answer’s yes. I want to share him. Alex is the only one I’m worried about not wanting to.” Amos remembered the night before, telling Alex in detail all his filthy fantasies about sharing Holden between them, making Alex come in his ass picturing Holden split open on his cock. He wants to. 

“Oh, he wants to. I think sex with Holden makes him nervous a little bit, but he wants to.”

“Makes him nervous? Why?”

“I think he thinks Holden’s not attracted to him. Might be right. Don’t see why it’s a reason not to fuck him though.” 

“I don’t think he’s not attracted to him. Jim’s just… careful around Alex. Worried he might say the wrong thing and ruin everything.”

“Yeah, well. Alex is insecure. It’s stupid ‘cause he’s hot, but I can’t convince him of it.”

“You been trying?” 

“Fuck, no. Not my job. I get it up for him, don’t I?” Naomi laughed. 

“They’ll get used to each other. They just need time.”

“They just need to bone. Alex needs to be inside that tight ass and he’ll forget about whatever’s been stoppin’ him doin' it all the time.”

“You might be right.”

#### ✧✧✧

“Amos, this is fucking delicious. I don’t know how you made that frozen garbage into meat, but fuck,” Holden said through a mouthful of meatloaf.

“What did you do to these potatoes? They taste so… not like glue?” Naomi added.

“Got the recipe from some mommy blogger on Ceres with too much time on her hands. Had to skim through the cunt’s entire fucking life story to get to the instructions, but it wasn’t hard. Don’t know why this ship has a milk frother in the appliance cabinet, but turns out it works even if your milk is actually half water and half coffee whitener.” 

“Watch out, Alex, Chef Amos is going to give you a run for your money,” Naomi joked.

“He’s a man of many talents,” Alex contributed. 

“Turns out I’m more than just a body with a big cock.” 

“Yeah, you also have a perfect ass,” Holden retorted. Amos kicked him playfully under the table. Holden reciprocated by pressing his foot gently against Amos’s, wiggling his toes against the point where his sock met his ankle.

Nobody mentioned what they all knew was going to happen that night. They just enjoyed each other’s company. When the meal was done, complete with all-edges brownies and a bottle of wine, Amos told them to get in their pajamas and meet in the living room in half an hour. 

#### ✧✧✧

Holden was the first to show up to Amos’s little party, wearing sweatpants and an undershirt that made him look like either a porn star in a casting call or a douchebag in a B-movie. He was carrying a very promising tote bag. Amos took it. When he peeked inside, he saw not only the strap-on, but also a little purple vibrator that Amos figured could come in handy. He put the bag in a discrete but convenient location. 

“Good boy. Naomi know you took this?” Holden shook his head. 

“Figured it’d be a pleasant surprise. I can’t fucking believe we’re going to do this.” 

“Hold your horses, slutty boy. Let it happen naturally.” 

“You mean you’re not gonna get me on my hands and knees as soon as everybody else gets in here?” 

“Nope. It’s a party, Jim. We’re gonna play some games, first. Have a seat, take a drink.” 

“What’s in this?” he signaled to the pitcher of red liquid on ice. 

“Vodka, rum, soda, bunch of those fruit juice powders we never use. Fruit punch, lemonade, and that orange shit that you can’t call juice with a straight face.”

“You made _jungle juice?_ Haven’t had this shit since… fucking prom night.”

“Look at you, Miss Americana,” Amos joked. “Drank this shit when I was fuckin’ seven.” Holden looked sad at that. Amos didn’t know why. “Tastes like candy. Makes you forget the liquor’s cheaper than dirt and tastes worse.” Holden smiled, and sipped his drink. 

“Fuck, you’re right. Gonna get a sugar high before I’m drunk.” 

“Tasty, though,” Amos said, sipping from his own cup. 

“Fuck,” Amos whispered when Naomi came in, draped in a slinky robe that hinted at a lacy bra underneath, toting a silk pillow. He elbowed Holden, who rolled his eyes at him, but was equally enraptured by her stunning beauty. Sweatpants covered her long legs, for now. Amos wondered if she was wearing underwear. If all went to plan, he’d find out. 

Alex joined the party quickly after, still in his jumpsuit. Amos knew that he slept in his boxers. He probably didn’t even have pajamas. 

“Come, sit down. We’re gonna play a game,” Amos said. 

“The game isn’t ‘who can get their dick in Holden fastest?’” Alex asked, sitting down next to Amos. Alex and Amos were on one couch, while Naomi and Holden occupied the other. 

“Be appropriate.” Everyone laughed at that. Even Amos couldn’t take himself seriously. “We’re gonna play ‘Never Have I Ever.’”

“Did you get all of your ideas of what happens at a slumber party from 21st century pornography?” 

“What do you know about 21st century pornography, Jim?” Naomi asked, a joking accusation.

“I had a long life before I knew you.” 

“A life as a vintage porn connoisseur?” Alex asked. Holden took his sock off and threw it at Alex. 

“No, keep that on. We’re playing strip-Never Have I Ever.” 

“What is that?” Alex asked, passing Holden’s sock back across the coffee table. 

“Everyone goes around and says something they’ve never done, and if you’ve done it, you have to take a piece of clothing off,” Amos answered. 

“That’s the porn version,” Holden said, “I always played that you put a finger down, and you’re out when you’re out of fingers.”

“I played that you take a shot,” said Naomi.

“Well, we’re playing the porn version, you bunch of prudes,” Amos argued. “But you can drink, too, if you like.” 

“You know there are a lot easier ways to get Jim naked,” Naomi said, “like, I don’t know, say ‘hey Jim, get naked!’” Holden blushed, but didn’t protest. 

“The game seems kind of unfair to Holden,” said Alex. 

“How do you figure?” 

“I mean, we all know all the weird shit he’s done.” 

“Oh, Alex, you don’t know half the weird shit I did to Holden on Ilus. Naomi probably doesn’t even know all of it.” Naomi raised her eyebrows at Holden. “But Holden doesn’t mind getting naked for us, do you baby?” Holden rolled his eyes, and his non-answer was an answer. 

“I’m just surprised you’re gonna let us know anything about your past,” Holden said, and he made a good point, but Amos didn’t say he wouldn’t lie before he’d give up any information that was actually sensitive. 

“My sexual past, sure. Besides, there’s nothing I’ve done to you that I’ve never let somebody else do to me.” 

“Really?” They all three looked surprised at that. 

“Kids, if you think Holden’s a whore, you ain’t seen nothing. Who’s first?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joke's on all of you, you thought this was about Jim and Amos, but it was actually a tale of the illicit affair between Amos and Naomi's boobs.

###  **Amos**

“Alright,” Naomi started, “never have I ever had a dick in my ass.” Holden re-removed his first sock, and Amos took off one of his own. Alex remained fully clothed, unsurprisingly. 

“Never even tried it?” Amos asked. That surprised him. Naomi could be demure, but she was kinky as hell. He’d thought she’d at least let somebody try before swearing off it. 

“Fingers and toys, but never the real thing. No interest.” 

“Well, if you ever decide it’s worth a try—”

“Then Jim will be the first to know, and you will be the last.” Amos pouted, but understood. Most girls wouldn’t let his huge dick anywhere near their assholes.

“You know, it’s really a struggle living with a cock this huge. Women fear me, men wanna be me.” 

“You poor thing,” Alex ‘consoled.’ 

Clockwise, it was Alex’s turn. 

“Never have I ever had a dick in my  _ mouth,” _ Alex said. Naomi and Holden both looked at Amos. 

“What? If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to. Holden’s thirsty enough for it.”

“I don’t…  _ not _ want to,” Alex defended, shy. “It’s big, okay? It’s not exactly easy-mode.” 

“Yeah, maybe Holden’s more your speed.”

“Shut up, Amos.” A second sock came off of Holden and Amos, and the first from Naomi. Amos had never actually seen her suck Holden’s dick. He’d like to. 

Amos’s turn. There wasn’t a lot that Amos had never done, sexually. There was plenty he’d never done to Naomi, though, so he could leverage that to get Holden naked, which was the goal anyway.

“Never have I ever… kissed Naomi.” 

“That’s not fair. Targeting has to be unfair,” Holden protested. 

“You two have had sex but never kissed?” Alex asked. 

“You are the cutest thing, Martian. Targeting is totally fair. Take your shirt off.” Holden obeyed, and pretended not to be happy about it. 

Amos had the amount of time it took Naomi to stand up, walk around the coffee table, and sit in his lap to prepare for what happened next, and he still couldn’t process it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. His brain short-circuited for a moment. As she moved against his parted lips, he didn’t do much more than stare. She pulled away too soon. When his brain caught up with him, he cradled her head in his big hand and pulled her back in, this time engaging her in the kiss. It started slow and exploratory, but he deepened it into a passionate affair. His dick stirred in his boxers, and he wanted to forget the game and just fall into this moment. She giggled, and it was the most beautiful sound. 

“Now you’ve kissed me,” Naomi said, like she hadn’t just changed his life. She went back to her seat, kissing Holden on the way, as if to say ‘don’t be jealous, I’m still yours.’ Holden didn’t look jealous as much as turned on. 

Holden was next, and it took him some time to come up with something he hadn’t done. Amos could think of plenty of things he’d never done to Holden, but nothing that would make anyone else take an article of clothing off. There were plenty of things Amos had done that Holden hadn’t, but they were surely beyond Holden’s imagination. 

“Never have I ever been pissed on during sex,” Holden said. Amos chose the game, so he’d known to layer up a little in advance. He took his sweatshirt off, and everyone looked more surprised that he’d done that than he figured they should. There were very, very few things Amos hadn’t tried. 

“I thought you...” Alex started, looking between Amos and Holden, but seemed to decide it was a bad idea. 

“I was kidding. You thought I wasn’t kidding?” 

“You told him I let you piss on me?” 

“I thought it was clear that I was kidding.” In all the commotion, Naomi tried to slip a sock off without anyone noticing, but Amos caught her.

“Nagata, care to explain?” 

“I was maybe 17, guy was drunk, and it was not on purpose.” Everyone except Naomi broke into riotous laughter, and then she joined in. 

It was Naomi’s turn again.

“Say something I haven’t done, I’m begging you,” Holden pleaded. He was in his sweats, and had only his boxers underneath them. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll spare you, Jim. Never have I ever kissed Alex.” Amos pecked Alex on the cheek before taking his shirt off proudly. Holden bit his lip. 

“Fuck.” 

“Sorry, Holden,” Alex said. Amos and Naomi were both confused as Holden took his sweats off. 

“When did you two kiss?” Amos asked. “Why didn’t I get to watch?” 

“It was in the medbay, a little while ago. It was nothing. Embarrassing, weird moment,” said Alex. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Naomi asked Holden. 

“There wasn’t anything to tell. I figured we were kind of pretending it didn’t happen,” Holden excused. 

“We were.” 

“I wanna see,” Amos said, like a dare. 

“There’s nothing to see. It was a weird peck on the lips that happened because I was confused and curious. Top ten least hot kisses of all time.” 

“Wow, top ten, huh?” Holden said in mock-defense. “You’re not wrong.” 

“Then dramatize it. Wanna see you two kiss.” 

“Me too,” Naomi agreed with Amos, which was always dangerous. Holden and Alex looked at each other, and seemed to come to an agreement without words. 

Holden crossed the space between the tables just as Naomi had. He straddled Alex and their lips met. It was less magical than when Naomi kissed Amos. It was a performance, everyone knew, but it was a damn good one. Alex’s hand grabbed Holden’s ass as they kissed, all tongues and teeth and lips. Amos watched Holden grind his hips against Alex ‘til he was satisfied with the show, and then stopped them. 

“Okay, horny boys. Game’s not over yet.” Alex’s stare was still burning on Holden as he walked away. 

Alex looked shaken as he took his next turn. Holden looked proud of himself.

“Never have I ever called someone ‘daddy’ in bed,” said Alex. Nobody moved to take clothes off, but everyone looked at Holden. 

“Get those sweats off, baby boy,” Amos urged. 

“I have  _ not.” _

“Yes you have.” Holden was redder than grenadine. He sipped at his drink in obstinance. 

“You made me,” he finally admitted. 

“I’ve never made you do anything.”

“I was drunk.” 

“Not too drunk to consent.” 

“You got me hard and told me you wouldn’t put your dick in me or let me come if I didn’t say ‘please, daddy.’”

“You looked so pretty begging on daddy’s cock.” 

“I don’t like it, Amos.” It wasn’t very convincing a performance. 

“Okay, baby boy. Boxers off.” 

“No.” 

“Come on. Let’s see that hard dick.” He  _ was  _ hard, had been for some time. Amos knew Holden well enough to know he was dying to be on display. The brat just liked to protest. 

“No. Not fair.” 

“I will rip those panties off you, baby boy. You’re not gonna like what happens if you make me.” 

“Amos…” Alex was skeptical. 

“It’s okay, Alex. He has a safeword, don’t you princess?” 

“Yes.” 

“What’s your safeword?”

“Red.”

“You wanna use it?”

“No. Hate it when you ask me that.” 

“Just don’t want to hurt you, precious. Get naked. Won’t ask you again.” 

Holden looked at Naomi, who looked amused. 

“Go ahead, pretty boy,” Naomi added, and it was all the permission Holden needed.

###  **Holden**

Holden was bare-ass naked, and everyone else was fully clothed. He liked the feeling, reveled in the humiliation of it. 

“C’mere, baby,” Amos said, from domineering to gentle in an instant, a move only Amos could pull off that well. He patted his lap, and Holden knew that meant to lay across it. He positioned himself facing the end table nearest him, so Alex would get a full view of whatever Amos had planned for his ass. Amos had lube in his pocket, and it reminded Holden of back on Ilus. The man was always prepared to give Holden what he needed. 

“Fuck,” said Alex. Holden couldn’t see him, but knew he was admiring the view.

Holden craned his neck to see Naomi, who was clearly turned on. 

“Guess it’s my turn,” Amos said, like he wasn’t rubbing his fingertips against Holden’s sensitive hole. 

“We’re still playing?” Alex asked, incredulous. 

“Sure. Just ‘cause Holden’s a whore doesn’t mean the fun’s over.” 

“From where I’m sitting, looks like the fun’s just started,” said Alex. 

Amos was pressing a slick finger into Holden, and the voices were starting to fade into background noise. Holden tried to cling to reality as they continued to play, but he couldn’t focus on the words. He watched as Naomi laughed with her whole body, blushed, and stripped. She took off her sweatpants, revealing those long, perfect legs. 

Amos had two fingers inside him, scissoring and stretching, pumping in and out at his leisure. Teasing. Holden was too hard already, needed friction. He rutted against Amos’s thigh underneath him, earning him a slap against his bare ass. It didn’t hurt like it usually did, at an awkward angle with Amos’s better hand busy. Holden tuned into the noise. 

“Alex, slap his ass for me. Make it hurt.” Alex must’ve hesitated, because there was a beat before he felt the sting of a good, hard spank. The hand came down again, and then again. Alex was good at that. Holden moaned. He didn’t think they could possibly still be playing, but Naomi shimmied out of her robe, revealing a lacey black bra and matching panties. He’d seen her undress a million times, and every time was still hotter than the last. Amos slipped another finger into him. No. Alex slipped a finger in him. He was just lucid enough to tell the difference from the angle. There were three fingers inside him, two of Amos’s and one of Alex’s. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Two of the fingers inside Holden stopped moving when Naomi took her bra off. Amos’s obsession with Naomi’s boobs was adorable, but not when he was trying to get his ass fucked. Amos pulled his fingers out, and Holden could’ve cried at the loss, until they were replaced with four fingers from the same hand. They had to be Alex’s. He didn’t care whose they were, as long as they kept pumping in and out of his hole.

###  **Naomi**

Jim looked fucking amazing on his hands and knees, but there was no way in hell Naomi was just going to sit there and watch while the boys had all the fun. 

She crossed to the bed where all the action was happening to let Amos play with her tits a little bit. She wasn’t incredibly sensitive there, so it was more for him than for her, but he looked at them like the eighth and ninth wonders of the world, and it made her feel gorgeous. Amos and Holden both knew just how to make her feel like the most beautiful thing in the universe. 

“Not gonna break them, Amos.” He looked up at her. She nodded her permission. He pinched one nipple, firm but not hard, while he sucked on the other, neglecting Holden’s ass to give her his full attention. “Alex, you better put a couple more fingers in Jim before he throws a fit.” Holden didn’t appear to even hear her, he was so far gone, but he moaned on Alex’s four fingers. 

When she was certain Amos had left enough hickeys on both of her breasts as he squeezed and sucked and caressed them, she pulled him up to eye-level for a gentle kiss on the lips. She could get used to kissing Amos. She didn’t know why they hadn’t done it before.

She parted from Amos, and went to visit Holden in whatever world he’d traveled to.

“Hey, baby, you lucid?” 

“Barely,” Holden answered. “Feels so good.” 

“You functional enough to eat me out?” That seemed to snap him out of his trance. 

“Naomi, if I ever, ever say to you that I am not able to eat you out, for any reason other than my tongue has been stolen, please assume I’ve been kidnapped and there is a gun to my head, and I’m sending you a signal that things are not okay.” 

“So that’s a yes?” 

“Fuck, yes. Always, yes. Please, yes.”

“Let’s get you in a better position, huh?” 

Naomi sat at the top of the bed with her legs spread, wide and inviting. Holden returned to his position on his hands and knees with both Amos and Alex behind him. He licked at her wetness, his ass in the air, prepped and ready for a big cock. 

###  **Alex**

Seeing Amos concede control to Naomi was disorienting. The man who always had the power in bed, even when he was pretending to let Alex have it, seemed to melt into a puddle whenever Naomi was involved. She was the sun, and he was a planet revolving around her. He felt privileged to get to see it. Naomi rearranged the four of them so Holden could eat her out, and they fell like dominoes into place as she instructed them. 

“Fucking gorgeous view,” Amos said, taking the words right out of Alex’s mouth. Holden’s back was arched just right to display his nice, round ass, still blushed from the spanking. “Spread ‘em for Alex,” Amos commanded, and Holden showed off that pretty little hole like he’d been programmed to please.. 

Amos kissed Alex, slow and filthy, then whispered in his ear. 

“Wanna see your fat cock disappear inside that slutty hole. Will you do that for me? Fuck my little toy?”

“For you? Yeah,” he answered, which was bullshit. He was so desperate to be inside Holden it might kill him. Amos saw right through it, he knew, but was generous enough to let him have the delusion that this was for anyone other than himself. Alex slicked his cock. 

“Rub the head against his hole,” he instructed, and Alex had half a mind to tell him to fuck off. He didn’t need a tutorial on how to put his dick in someone. But Amos’s voice in his ear was driving him wild, so he’d allow it. “Yeah, just like that, tease him with it. He wants it so bad, make him wait for it.” Alex pushed the tip in without waiting for permission, and it took all his willpower not to sink all the way inside. 

“I don’t care whose cock that is, if it’s not fucking me properly in two seconds I’m calling this whole thing off and sitting on a toy,” said Holden. Amos laughed. Alex pulled out and waited for instructions. 

“Okay, big shot, I believe you,” said Amos, meaning he didn’t. “Only, I’m pretty sure I have all your toys.”

“Then I’ll fuck myself with the handle of a fucking soup ladle, I don’t care. I need something inside me. Give me something inside me.” 

“What do you think?” Amos asked Alex.

“Me?”

“Yeah, your call.” 

“I think I want to be inside him.” 

“Gonna give him what he asks for that easy?”

“I don’t give a shit what he asked for. He’s a toy, right? I want to put my cock in your toy.” Amos smiled like he was proud, and Alex didn’t know what to do with that. He’d never said anything even nearly that vulgar. It felt good. Cathartic.

“He’s all yours.” 

Alex had never fucked somebody so hard.

###  **Amos**

Amos kissed Naomi, just because he could. 

“Hey.” 

“You have my toy?” Naomi asked. 

“Yep.”

“Get it.” He brought her the tote bag. She pulled out the strap-on. “Make good use of this mouth. Don’t come, want your load in his ass.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” She kissed him again. 

“What’s up, pretty boy?” Amos said to Holden. Holden moaned by way of answer, but it wasn’t good enough. “Use your words, baby boy. You like Alex in your slutty hole?” 

“Yes. Yes!”

“I’m close,” Alex said, which meant Holden would be making himself nice and tight around his cock right about now. 

“Fucking come in me, Alex.” 

“Fuck,” Alex moaned, elongating the word in a way that could only mean pleasure or pain. Amos had a guess which one it was. Holden’s mouth fell open in ecstasy, and Amos took the opportunity to feed the tip of his cock to him. Holden sucked on it like a pacifier, calming him down as Alex pulled out of him. 

Amos beckoned Alex over for a kiss, and he was starting to really get the appeal of kissing. His whole life, kissing was just a thing Amos did because it was a thing people did. It wasn’t bad, but it was the worst part of sex. When he started kissing Holden, he figured it was a thing that was only good with Holden. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t question it, because it was good and he didn’t question things that were good. Then he kissed Alex, and he kissed Naomi, and he figured it out. Kissing was good with the people he loved. 

Amos kept kissing Alex while Holden took him further in his mouth. He let one hand rest in Holden’s hair, while the other stayed on Alex’s hip as they made out. Amos would never have guessed that _ this  _ would be the most at peace he’d ever felt. 

Holden took Amos as far as he could go, and didn’t pull back until his eyes watered. 

“Good fucking boy, Jim, cry on my cock, fuck yeah.” 

Naomi’s hands were on his hips, and she was fucking him with wild abandon. He knew this was Holden’s favorite place to be in the whole world, split between his boyfriend’s cock and his girlfriend’s toy. Holden’s lips teased at the base of his cock as he gagged, and Amos was ready to spill down his throat. But Naomi had given him an instruction, so he held back. 

“Naomi,” moaned Amos, “I’m gonna—”

“Don’t you dare,” she warned, and pulled out of Holden without warning. He looked at her with his wet eyes like she’d kicked his puppy. “Relax, baby. Amos is gonna take good care of you.” Naomi sat on the other bed, and Alex joined her like a studio audience. Amos’s eyes were trained on Holden, but a buzzing noise and a soft moan told him all he needed to know about what Naomi was doing while she watched. 

Amos slipped his thumb inside Holden, knowing it would be way short of enough. Holden whined as the digit pressed against his sensitive hole. His dick hadn’t been touched all night, the poor thing, but he knew better than to try and jerk off. He’d get off when Amos let him. 

Amos’s dick slid easily into the used hole, but its size still stretched Holden further open. His moans were weak, like he’d been ruined in the most delicious way. Holden pushed back on it, desperate for it deeper inside him. 

“Good boy,” Amos said, “fuck yourself on Daddy’s cock,” he joked, and Holden actually pulled off of him voluntarily, which was a first in an entire year of more-than-daily sex. He moved away, let Amos’s dick fall from his hole, flipped on his back, and closed his legs. 

“Nope. No. Stop. No.” Alex and Naomi both laughed with Amos. Holden wasn’t laughing, but Amos could tell he wasn’t actually mad. “I hate you.” 

“Yeah, love you, too.” It came out less sarcastic than it was supposed to. Holden looked up at him like a question, and Amos didn’t know what the answer was. Did he mean it? Yeah. Yeah, he meant it. He loved Holden. Of course he fucking loved Holden. In hindsight, in that moment, he didn’t know how it was ever a question.

He looked over at Alex and Naomi. Naomi’s eyes were closed as she pumped the toy in and out of herself, the bunny ear vibrating against her clit as she moved. Her quiet gasps and moans drove Amos wild, as always. Alex’s attention was focused on her, because whose wouldn’t be? Nobody was looking. He and Holden were effectively alone. 

He nodded in answer to the question Holden didn’t ask.  _ Yes, stupid, I love you. I don’t know how to love you like you love me. But I love you like I love you. I hope that’s enough _ . 

“Let me fuck you on your back like you like,” he said, a peace offering, and it would have to be enough. The way Holden looked up at him and spread his legs said it was. 

He kissed Holden as he moved inside him, his hands splayed on the backs of his thighs, pinning him down underneath him.

He looked over at the other bed, and Alex was eating Naomi out. Her legs were shaking, and she looked like she was ready to come for the second or third time that night. That was an image he didn’t know how to deal with, but it drove him crazy. He’d have a million questions about that later. Right now, he was going to come. 

“Been so good, baby boy. Come for me,” he coaxed, stroking Holden just the way he knew he liked it. The time for teasing was way past. He wanted Jim to finish with him. 

Holden tightened as he came, sending waves of pleasure through Amos like they were one body. Amos fell into bed and let himself curl around Holden. 

“How do you feel, baby boy?” Naomi asked after a little while, and Holden looked at her for the first time in a while. Naomi looked the way she always looked when Amos or Holden made her come on their tongues, spent, satisfied, and glowing. Alex was a wreck, his lips soaked with spit and slick, like he’d just won the fucking lottery.

“Did you just…?” Holden asked Alex, and he turned red.

“Uh, that okay?” 

“Yeah, fuck. I mean. Wish I got to see that, but yeah.” 

“I’m sure we could arrange for it to happen again, right Alex?” Naomi teased. He nodded excitedly. 

“God, I fucking love this family.” 

###  **Holden**

Amos made everyone get up except for Holden so that he could move the coffee table out of the way and push the two beds together to make one. Naomi settled down on Holden’s one side, while Amos laid on the other with Alex next to him. 

As they laid there, making fun of Holden together, laughing and talking and celebrating and loving each other, there was no awkwardness. There was no fear. There were no complications or worries or stress. There was just Naomi, and Amos, and Alex, and Holden, and it was good. 

A year and a half to Tycho with nothing to do except be happy with the people he loved more than anything. He wished it could be longer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the love in the comments! This is the end of the New Terra-tory series, my very first fanfic(s) in the Expanse Universe. Please let me know if there's anything else you'd like to see, I am in love with these characters and this dynamic and would love to spend more time with them. I cannot believe my dirty little mind wrote 60,000 words of pure filth in less than a month!
> 
> twitter: @warren_space

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @warren_space


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